Hello .. new to DS and this group. 

Not sure where to start. I had my first divorce back in 2016 (at 26 years old), ex-husband strangled me and was controlling. Fast foward to now 2018, and I'm currently in my second legal separation, which my current husband and I have agreed to a long-term separation (with my medical issues, I need the insurance), and I find myself tired of relationships, tired of even dealing with men in general. We are legally separated because he failed to be husband, spent most days feeling like he wasn't married, would not mature, he would not defend me against an NCO in his unit who was harassing me, nor against his command who encouraged this harassment and did nothing to punish the NCO or even protect me. My husband gave up on church and his faith, and when my medical issues became serious and I couldn't function most days, I still had to clean the house, take care of two dogs, run all errands, do all the shopping, etc, even though doctors told me not to, and continue to tell me not to do much for it worsens my symptoms. For the last year I tried to converse, tried to speak to him, to see how the marriage was breaking apart, tried to get him to work on his issues, while I worked on mine, even tried to do stuff together. He was just too tired, only wanted to play video games, didn't communicate, wouldn't speak back, and kept wanting me to be a "mom" to him, more than a wife. My dogs and my car and my stuff are still with him, at the house in a different state, and I unfortunately due to medical and the legal separation moved in with a parent, who cannot take both my dogs unless my mother gets a house. 

I've gotten to the point where I'm tired with relationships, tired of dating, tired of even trying. Tired of trying to explain my legal separation to others, all I get is judgement, criticism, there is no support. It's like all men want when they see me is my body and to get laid - I'm tired of that mentality too. I have a master's degree, I've worked in psychiatry and victim advocacy, I know a lot of law enforcement, legal professionals, and high ranking military, I like intellectual conversations, to travel and experience new cultures. So to be wanted only for my body, is offensive, degrading, and frankly, discouraging for me to even want to try and date while legally separated, or even after the future divorce that will be taking place eventually. 

I still have my friendships and family, and I am happy to move on and foward, but I must admit, I'm tired of men and relationships, tired of being wanted for my body, and just honestly don't see the point in dating or even wanting to try anymore. I mean what's the point? Sad thing is, all the police officers I know, they see my intellect and my potential and respect me, but they are all married. Pretty sad that no single man can see that and want me for that, instead of wanting me for my body. So as much as part of my doesn't want to give up on dating and love in general.. it seems after this second separation.. that's the path i'm surely starting to walk down.