Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So it's another day...cried all day yesterday. I guess i'm just trying to make some sense of what happened here. Has this happened to anyone; so many years of being together; making plans, then blind sided by dating someone else? Like i'm trying to understand how someone can be so conniving and such a professional liar...i'm now questioning if anything at all was true. In my heart i want to believe it wasnt all a lie, but in my head i'm saying well clearly i must've been an idiot. I just dont get how someone can sit with you day in and day out making plans for the future saying all these things and in the other breath be with someone else.
Unfortunately i dont have family that i could rely on to give me decent advice it's more from a judgmental perspective and my friends do their best but say they're glad it's not their man that did that to them...so the advice helps a bit but doesnt make it hurt any less. I want to call him and text and email him just to get an explanation but i know NC is the way to go here and i'm trying very hard to hold on to that. Plus i doubt i will get an explanation anyways...a part of me wants to take him back and do the same thing to him so he can know how it feels to have that pain...but realistically speaking i know that will change nothing. So i wont...
Unfortunately i dont have family that i could rely on to give me decent advice it's more from a judgmental perspective and my friends do their best but say they're glad it's not their man that did that to them...so the advice helps a bit but doesnt make it hurt any less. I want to call him and text and email him just to get an explanation but i know NC is the way to go here and i'm trying very hard to hold on to that. Plus i doubt i will get an explanation anyways...a part of me wants to take him back and do the same thing to him so he can know how it feels to have that pain...but realistically speaking i know that will change nothing. So i wont...
I also contemplated getting him back, in the end it would only hurt us even more. The best thing is to forgive him, not for him but for yourself and start working toward moving on.
I have very little support as well, my closest friends are his family, and my friends just don't offer good support, except for one. My family offers none and doesn't even care to know what is going on. I feel your pain, but you can get support here from many wonderful people who are either going through the same thing or have been through the same thing.
I agree no contact is the way to go, if I could do that I would ( we have kids ) so take advantage if in fact there is no reason to contact him.
(((hugs)))
Most of us here have been blindsided and get no satisfaction from the whys
The crying and the pain eases a little over the long term
Grief is a slow and non linear process
Please find a group to join like Divorce Care
and go see a therapist as soon as you can
You need to build a support network
Hugs to you from me and all of us here I'm sure
Spare yourself it may be to early for either of you to be able to make sense, if you can. I've realized that there is no way to really understand and best to focus on more productive things such as doing what is best for me and our children. Family is not always best to confide in, they definitely care about you and want to try and help, which can create other issues. Someone who has been through this and has no ties that can add to the rumor mill is best. I've been learning this the hard way. Stay Strong and focus on what you can change ;-)
The sad thing is I want him back. I know it isn't the right thing but I can't seem to move from this stage of the situation. I start counseling Saturday and take depression and anxiety medicine and hope things get better.
I don't feel I am in the right place to give you advice. What I do feel is I hope things get better for you and everyone else in this situation because no one deserves this!!!!!