Wow, great friends you have there. Why haven't they offered to have you be with them for the holidays? I feel for you. Holidays are hard when there's no one to spend them with. If you are alone, maybe knowing this ahead of time will help you plan something special for yourself for that day. I was alone last year for Thanksgiving (kids went with their father), so I planned a nice afternoon for myself where I took the dog for a walk (it was actually nice out) then I watched a movie I'd been wanting to see for a long time and just had never gotten around to. Also a nice big jigsaw puzzle passes the time, and they can be framed afterward.

Instead of looking at it like a negative, turn it into a positive by doing something special for yourself.

I wish I had a good suggestion, but if the town is small enough then it will be difficult to not run into them at some point.

I'm sorry you will be going through this, especially during the holidays. One thing that I know friends of mine do is to have an open house on Christmas and spread the word to everyone that if they're alone or looking for a break from the stress, then they should feel free to stop by. Even in a small town I bet you'll have people take you up on the offer.

I dont mind that they have not offered-I dont think I'd want to go. They have their own families and things, but they just dont understand the pain of this. They just say move on as if its like turning off a light or something. I have a hard time during the holidays anyway. But, all I can do is soldier through it. Just do the best I can. I might as well get used to it. She is supposed to move here in the spring/summer and they will get married...dont know when. Well i could start the spreadsheet about if they will really marry and how long it will last and see who wins. (They "met" online. Have been together face to face once). I'm thinking of getting myself a punching bag for christmas-i could take my emotions out on that.

Don't waste one more second on him and his new life. They will either make it, or they won't. That has nothing to do with you anymore. Is there a church or some other charity that could use a helping hand during the holidays? Maybe that would cheer you up.

find some groups where you can meet other women so that all of you can go out and have some fun.

Jaclyn.. I went through, am going through the same thing, but it's been a couple of years.. This past holiday season was the first I spent alone.. It's hard. Last Christmas I was invited to someone's house and it was much harder being with another family then being alone.This year I have chosen to be home By myself. I keep telling myself that it is only one day. I will be fine, and so will you.

As far as running into them in town, it's hard too. I make it a point to keep my eyes open so that I can turn the corner, no matter where I am...
When he came into my place of work, it was uncomfortable.. It wouldn't have been so bad if he and his gf didn't harass me..if your ex has any bit of decency & sensibility, then they will walk away from you..

I wish you much luck. Don't let them get the better of you, even if you have to put a brave face on if you see them together.
Many hugs...

MsViv,
yeah I figured going to someone else's house would be harder. If I'm gonna be upset and cry I need to do it at home. He and I do somewhat work for the same place but our paths do not cross. Strangely, even though this is a very small town, so far I have not run in to him out and about. He just caught me by surprise. I'd figured he would go there. She is supposed to move here this spring so i just have to get used to it. Let me add that he announced his engagement on facebook before our divorce was final. he had promised me there was nobody else. He had also promised me he would wait till our divorce was final before going public about the other woman who he said didn't exist. But, i'm moving forward. Dating, meeting new people., trying to shut my heart against him.. Its a journey. Thanks all!

Well... if I were by myself during Xmas, I think I would do for someone else. Make some cookies for the local police, drop off some grocery gift certificates in mailboxes of the less fortunate, volunteer to serve xmas dinner at the local shelter. Give of yourself, and you will get back 10 fold. ;)

You said you live in a small town and your family is busy with other affairs.

Here are a few suggestions if you are not considering joining anything around town:
- research a fun place, pack your bags and travel.
- if you can afford, try something quite far, with opposite weather from where you live (if really cold, go to a sunny place, if sunny go to a place with fireplace)
- try to get together with other single groups (meetup.com, events and adventures, etc)
- gift yourself: make a small list of things that you would like to receive, go out, buy them, gift wrap them with very nice bows, make fun cards wishing yourself nice things for your future, put happy faces, lay them under the Christmas tree (big or small doesn't matter) and let them be there until that time of the year.

when you start loving yourself as you would like to be loved, things change all around you.

All the best :)

being alone is so lonely, I really know about it, because I am so alone.
It's not that I haven't tried, I really did, but people want to be with their family....The holiday time is the worst of the year for lonely people.

If you cannot find a volunteer group, make the most of it yourself, take yourself out to dinner, and buy a good book....Things will look up.