Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello Everyone. I thought I would share my story.
My boyfriend and I would have been together for 1 year next month. We moved in together really fast. He moved in in the middle of January and he is the first man I have ever lived with for longer than a few months. He loved me intensely. Every day he stated how much he loved me and told me "I think you're wonderful." We have been fighting, but I never doubted that he would be "the one." He told me all the time that there was no way I could get rid of him. He was with me forever. Maybe I took that for granted. October 3rd was a day just like every other day. He was outside on the phone, I was checking my e-mail. After a while I wondered where he was talking on the phone...it was raining out so I figured he had gone to sit in my car. About 5 minutes later I received a phone call from my mom asking if I was at her house. I said no, I am sitting at home. She said she could see him outside with a friend. (His truck was at her house because it needed to be fixed) I became pretty angry. He didn't even have the courtesy to tell me he was leaving? I didn't know who he was with even. I still don't. I got angry and texted (yes I know, really bad move) Please pack some stuff and go away for a while. Why did I do that? WHY?? I was so angry. I didn't mean it. I never wanted him to leave. I just wanted him to realize I was angry. Classic case of NEVER SAY WHAT YOU DON'T MEAN. I went to my moms for a little while to cool off. He never responded. I went home after 2 hours and all of his photos and collectibles were gone. Even his cat. 90% of his stuff is still here, but he took the things I know were most important. I went a little "nutty" I called and texted too many times. Begging him to come home. Begging him to call. Apologizing profusely. Then I waited 48 hours and called simply staying "Please call me." I texted him one last time last night saying "I promise not to bother you anymore. I just want you to know that I love you and I will be here when you are ready to talk." I have not heard ANYTHING from him. I am such a mess without him. I just want him home. In the heat of his leaving too, he forgot his insulin and he is a type 1 diabetic. I freaked out and had to call his mother to tell him (he wouldn't answer my calls and I needed him to know!), but he never called back. I'm almost positive he went and got more insulin, but I am not sure. So many questions unanswered. I just want to tell him how sorry I am. How could he say he loved me that much and not talk to me? It's all my fault and I am having a really hard time dealing with this and I don't know what to do. :(
My boyfriend and I would have been together for 1 year next month. We moved in together really fast. He moved in in the middle of January and he is the first man I have ever lived with for longer than a few months. He loved me intensely. Every day he stated how much he loved me and told me "I think you're wonderful." We have been fighting, but I never doubted that he would be "the one." He told me all the time that there was no way I could get rid of him. He was with me forever. Maybe I took that for granted. October 3rd was a day just like every other day. He was outside on the phone, I was checking my e-mail. After a while I wondered where he was talking on the phone...it was raining out so I figured he had gone to sit in my car. About 5 minutes later I received a phone call from my mom asking if I was at her house. I said no, I am sitting at home. She said she could see him outside with a friend. (His truck was at her house because it needed to be fixed) I became pretty angry. He didn't even have the courtesy to tell me he was leaving? I didn't know who he was with even. I still don't. I got angry and texted (yes I know, really bad move) Please pack some stuff and go away for a while. Why did I do that? WHY?? I was so angry. I didn't mean it. I never wanted him to leave. I just wanted him to realize I was angry. Classic case of NEVER SAY WHAT YOU DON'T MEAN. I went to my moms for a little while to cool off. He never responded. I went home after 2 hours and all of his photos and collectibles were gone. Even his cat. 90% of his stuff is still here, but he took the things I know were most important. I went a little "nutty" I called and texted too many times. Begging him to come home. Begging him to call. Apologizing profusely. Then I waited 48 hours and called simply staying "Please call me." I texted him one last time last night saying "I promise not to bother you anymore. I just want you to know that I love you and I will be here when you are ready to talk." I have not heard ANYTHING from him. I am such a mess without him. I just want him home. In the heat of his leaving too, he forgot his insulin and he is a type 1 diabetic. I freaked out and had to call his mother to tell him (he wouldn't answer my calls and I needed him to know!), but he never called back. I'm almost positive he went and got more insulin, but I am not sure. So many questions unanswered. I just want to tell him how sorry I am. How could he say he loved me that much and not talk to me? It's all my fault and I am having a really hard time dealing with this and I don't know what to do. :(
i'm sorry that i don't have anything more to offer.
was it your temper? is he guilty of something? we just don't know enough.
Ya know, I see couples who live around me, the guy/girl outside with their phones texting, some talking, they appear to go for "exercise" or a "walk" or just "smoking a cigarette". Its really sad to see their partners sitting inside watching the kids, or playing house while the other is doing this shit behind their back. It takes me back to the lengths my ex went to in order to speak with or see the dude she cheated on me with. Makes me wanna say something...
I am sorry. hang in there. and welcome to the group
I agree with the others though, try and think about life without him. I know it's damn near impossible, but you'll be okay. We are only dealt bad hands in life, because in the end we can do better. Do you really want to be with someone who would just leave you worrying for such a long period of time?
I'm truly sorry for what you are going through. Best of luck and God Bless. Try and stay strong... You have us to lean on!!!
Your bf is a grown man. He might have needed some air. Might have needed to take a walk. He could have been talking to a neighbor or his best friend or a comlete stranger. Again, he is a grown man. Have you told you bf every single time you left the house and about every single phone call you have ever made? Of course not, because you are an adult and you live your life just as he does his. I am not saying this to lecture you or accuse you of anything. Just giving you my perspective on things. I am just saying that your reaction to your bf's being out and about without telling you is extreme and makes me wonder if you have had similar reactions to things that he has done that were not to your liking.
I think it is quite immature of your bf to simply leave without telling you why and now totally shutting you out and not being man enough to tell you that he does not want to be in this relationship anymore. While I would have been pissed if I had been out and got a text from my husband telling me to come get my stuff and go away for a while, you'd better believe I would have been having quite the conversation with him when I got home. Just because you are angry does not give you a free card to just pick up your jacks and take off when the going gets rough. There must have been some serious communication issues in your relationship. (You said a lot of the time, you felt like he was not thinking of you and only of himself and that you "didn't think it was on purpose" and that you "thought" that it was just the way he was used to doing things. Thoughts are assumptions. Did you ever talk to your bf about the way that you felt about your relationship?) Right now, these questions are a bit moot, but something I just wanted to point out to you because I know you are going to be feeling a lot and questioning yourself and him and a billion other things. I just want you to think about your relationship and ask yourself how healthy this relationship was and if it is one that you would want to have continued to be in, anyway. (Quite frankly, if a man would be willing to give up entirely on our relationship simply because I sent him a text, he would not be the kind of man I would want in my life. Because if he'd do something like this over something so small, God forbid if something really serious ever happened.)
In any case, this is NOT all your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work. You have apologized and have been reaching out, trying to make things right. We ALL overreact to certain things at one time or another. Mature, committed people work things out. Immature people who care only about themselves do not. Time will tell what category your bf falls into.
In the meantime, stop beating yourself up. You made an unwise decision in the heat of the moment. That's all. You did not commit and unpardonable sin.
For your own peace of mind, stop contacting him. He knows your number and he knows where you live. You will only hurt more if you keep contacting him and he does not respond. You're in enough pain. Don't add anymore to it that you can prevent.
The only thing that you can do now is take care of you. It is not going to be easy for a while and it's going to hurt like hell. I so wish I could tell you otherwise, but I would not be telling you the truth.
Keep posting here. Tbat will help. And read through the posts because I am sure that you will find plenty of people you will be able to identify with and that is a great help, too.
One last thing. Know that everything that you are thinking and feeling is normal. We have all been there and a lot of us are still doing that. You WILL be okay. I promise you that. It just may not feel like it for a long time.
You are in my prayers. (((HUG)))
If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me anytime.
I am so sorry that you are hurting.
If I read this right, and that is what happened, I think your reaction was quite strong. You didn't ask where he was, you just told him to pack up and go. He is probably distancing himself because your reaction SEEMS over the top...unless I read this completely wrong.
One of the things that I had talked to him about many times was that he didn't talk to me enough. We would sit in the house all day and he would be on the phone all day and then just sit or stand in the room with me for hours and not say a word. I kept telling him, if there is something you don't like or are upset about, I am not going to know unless you tell me. He would stand 5 feet away from me with his arms folded and his head towards the floor. When I asked him what was wrong, he would say "nothing, I'm happy." This has been going on all along. I guess I just figured it was his personality. Like I said, we moved in together after only dating for 2 months and it was a long distance relationship for those 2 months. He never said he was upset with me for any reason. He always told me how much he loved me and how "perfect" I was. I told him I loved him too. Maybe I didn't do it enough.
My room has not changed. Though he took all his clothes, his side of the bed is still there as well as all his things on the wall...and his dresser. My mom and sister have told me it's time to take them off the wall. I really don't want to do this. When do I let go?
No he was not working on his car. His car was un-inspectable and he did not have the money to fix it at the time. I am not sure why he got his truck. I have no clue.