Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I'm sitting here tonight, tears down my face, wondering what the hell I did wrong. I got into a fight tonight with a female friend of mine, over something so stupid, that is borderline crazy. I was being considerate, and that somehow turned into me treating her horribly. I'm supposed to go out tomorrow, and after finding out the details I asked if she wanted to get me or someone else. She says she didn't care, it was whatever. Now from my ex, whatever doesn't truly mean that. So I said I will ask my other friend, as I didn't want to be a bother, and a big fight broke out.
So why am I telling this to all you fine folks? Because now I'm sitting here crying over how my ex treated me, how she belittled me like this friend did, and I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. For the first time in over a month and a half, I feel small again, and like I was just corrected like my ex was right here next to me. I've been doing so great, so great that I've been smiling everyday, laughing, having a good time, even feeling a little better MG wise.
So what in the world did I do wrong, and why is being being considerate of others feelings such a problem? All I wanted to do was be nice to her, and not assume she was getting me, and it turns into massive chaos. I'm really sorry for venting, but I feel at least here I can trust you guys, and really just needed to let go and reach out tonight. Thanks in advance for the advice. I just hate feeling this way.
So why am I telling this to all you fine folks? Because now I'm sitting here crying over how my ex treated me, how she belittled me like this friend did, and I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. For the first time in over a month and a half, I feel small again, and like I was just corrected like my ex was right here next to me. I've been doing so great, so great that I've been smiling everyday, laughing, having a good time, even feeling a little better MG wise.
So what in the world did I do wrong, and why is being being considerate of others feelings such a problem? All I wanted to do was be nice to her, and not assume she was getting me, and it turns into massive chaos. I'm really sorry for venting, but I feel at least here I can trust you guys, and really just needed to let go and reach out tonight. Thanks in advance for the advice. I just hate feeling this way.
in other words, there is nothing wrong with you. your friend just kind of had a bad day or something.
don't be too hard on yourself. it takes time to re-learn how to be around women. you will get the hang of it.
When you truly let someone in and they hurt you it makes for a rocky road while you rebuild. Sure it doesn't make sense why you just break down but you said it yourself you felt just like when you were with your ex; sitting right there next to you when she did and said the things she said to you. I can so relate.
I was never one to just break down when I had a disagreement with someone before me and my ex split but I noticed that I tried so hard to please and accommodate everyone else after that because I somehow failed to do that for my ex. I just wanted to do everything right and make sure people knew I cared about them, but what I didn't see was that although I thought it was the best thing to do, it wasn't good enough for me. I took on others issues as if the problem was my own. I tried even harder to be nice, understand everyone else feelings while letting mine go by the wayside. This all led to me allowing people to hurt me at the drop of a dime, even when they weren't trying to hurt me, I thought they were. I also found I allowed people in to my life who weren't good for me. Who didn't treat me with the same kit gloves I tried to treat them with. They couldn't see outside their own issues; finding myself enmeshed in their issues, then becoming one of their issues myself.
Some times, you can't win no matter how you try to tackle a situation. It is then you just need to realize it may not be you, or all of your fault, they are playing a part in it too.
So try not to be so hard on yourself. Try to take inventory of who you are, what you have tried to do to help/be a friend and walk through the next day knowing you tried, did your best and that just maybe, it ain't you and there is nothing you can do or say to change it.
You are a good guy, don't let others have you forget that.