Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Not Sure What to do?!?!

winesar21
winesar21
Me and my ex have had no contact for four months, which is when we broke up. Yesterday I get a fb chat from his old roomate. He says that my ex is sorry, and regrets some of the things he's done to me. He also went on to say that my ex talks about me like I was his world, and that every guy wants the girl that got away. I am wondering if I should contact him? We live in different states. His friend went on to say that he wanted me and my ex to get together. I am not really sure why he sent me this message and told me all of this. He said it is hard for guys to apologize. Idk what to do :( I don't wanna look like a fool. It ended nasty and he had the last word.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't tell you what to do. Every situation is different. Only you know the answer to what is right for you. How much do you trust yourself?
Carm416
Carm416
How do you feel about him four months later? What would be your motivation for contacting him? Do you want to rekindle the relationship? My impression is that if he wants to contact you, he will do it himself. Just my opinion.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If I were in your shoes and wanted to get back with my ex I for sure would contact him and just ask him if all your mutual friend told you is true and let him take it from there. Hope everything works out the way you want it too.
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
I'm with Carm416 on this one. Remember, it's the ROOMMATE telling you all of this, not your ex. I think if your ex really wanted to reconcile, he would have been contacting you.

I would leave it alone. If your ex really wants you back, let him make the first move. I would hate to see you contact him and then he become nasty to you and claim that what the friend told you was a load of bull.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you should really think about the impact the break up had on your life. Are you still in the same situation as you were then? How have your feelings changed? Do you believe you can work it out and if so then how? Also remember this second hand information you are getting. Has he done anything else to indicate that he wants to see/hear from you? If you decide that you want to try again, decide now what you will do if it ends the way it did before. I am not telling you that it can't work, just try to make sure you have a plan in case it doesn't. And think hard about whether this is what you really want.
stressed12
stressed12
If HE contacts you then take it from there. Let's be honest here. You live in different states. Long distance relationships are hard to begin with and you want to maybe start over with the same guy? It did not work for a reason.
I don't know if I am being too harsh here but really give this some thought and take it slow or you and he will end up hurt all over again.
winesar21
winesar21
Thank you guys for your advice! We were in a long distnace relationship, and the distance just took a toll. I believe what his best friend told me, but he needs to step up to the plate and say sorry himself. Who knows maybe one day...people can change.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree with Stressed. you live in separate states and have already broken up once. you are at an important age to make smart decisions. don't get sidetracked too much by long shots.

do it the easy way. find someone near you. and even more importantly, make sure that the rest of your life is on solid ground.
winesar21
winesar21
Thank you all for the help! I thought he was my soul mate and we were together for years. I will see where teh future takes me, but right now I just need to be content with myself. If he wants to say sorry himself, that would be different.