Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

cantstay2 10/18/2011

I am really going to try to remain positive. I am here for support. My 23 wedding anniversary is this Thursday and we have been heading to divorce for a while now. It is difficult to know that we have failed to make this marriage work.

I am tired of the mind games that he plays, but more importantly, I am tired of the person I have become. I cry, I beg, I still feel the need to communicate with him even though there is nothing in return. I still love him but it is not returned.

I am looking for a job so that I can support myself and I am trying to work out my feelings and a plan of action so that I am not taken by surprise.

Look forward to some positive support!

deleted_user 10/18/2011

I know you are in pain, but you need a lawyer, I know that sounds terrible. But after 23 years of marriage, you have to protect yourself at this point. Don't get blindsided.

deleted_user 10/18/2011

23 yrs is a long time. but i agree with jimmy you need to get a lawyer so that you are not surprised by it when and if he leaves. i do not think you are selfish at all to want some love however as a recovering addict - i have been clean almost 6 yrs now - i can tell you that your mind goes through a lot of changes when you quit using. it may be that you both need to go into therapy together and see if it is possible to work things out. if he is not willing to work on things then i would start to prepare myself for the marriage being over.

best of luck to you! :}

deleted_user 10/18/2011

sorry that post was meant for another thread :{

deleted_user 10/18/2011

Exactly same situation here. I tried everything from begging, crying etc. in front of her to make our marriage work (With a controlling, bipolar & narcissistic lady) and even after filing divorce tried everything to ask her to settle things peacefully but she is FUCKING NOT EVEN listening to anything. But now I have made some resolutions
1.NOT TO TALK her at all (Except when it is about kid).
2. NO entertaining of formal requests like, can you please bring some fruits, can you please take our son to doctor when he is with her, can you give me a thousand dollars etc etc. I asked her if you need something ask your lawyer to make those requests through formal channels.

A lawyer is extremely important to put a stop to these mind games and bring the non-cooperative person to his/her senses.

deleted_user 10/18/2011

Additionally don't treat your lawyer as your counselor. These blood suckers are damn expensive than the counselors. :-)

deleted_user 10/18/2011

You have a good attitude, cantstay. Some days you will feel so wonderful, like you are on your way to a better life. And some days it may be difficult to crawl out of bed and see the point for all the misery. I agree with the others about a lawyer though. One thing I've definitely learned is that the person you fell in love with is not the person you will be divorcing. Prepare yourself for surprises. We are here for you!

deleted_user 10/18/2011

Oh texasguy is so right. When one party insists on being "right" and insists on being the victim", lawyers are necessary, but if you're inexperienced or just plain stupid from smoking pot like my ex, your lawyer who's intention is to get paid is going to keep the battle going and get you "justice", while BOTH parties are sucked dry. Make it legal ans as short, cut and dry as possible. You will pay dearly for fighting.

Join the Conversation