Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ok, so this was the first weekend that my husband had our daughter. I have several issues and not quite sure how to handle them.
1) He had his 20 yr old neice pick up our daughter Friday night at 8:30pm because he still wasn't home from work yet. He gets off at 3pm on Fridays. 5 1/2 hrs and still not home - ' just sayin'
*** Need to be some ground rules (like a specific pick up and drop off time - just in case I ever get a life.
2) We discussed the fact that our daughter was to walk in 2 Holiday Parades Saturday night one at 5:30pm and the other at 7pm. He claimed he would be hunting and unable to take her so I offered to take her in his place. Because as always - it was what she wanted to do and I always make sure to give her what she wants - especially when it's free. LOL
*** Any way - about 4pm I hear a knock on the door - it's my daughter - his neice just dropped her off and left with out a word. Then I receive a text from his neice to call him because he is pissed that our daughter was with me and not with him. So I called him and reminded him of the conversation the night before. Well he turned it around and said that he didn't know it would be so early - I told him I had no control over the situation and that he should have better communication with his neice if she is gonna be the one in charge during his visitation weekends.
3) After I dropped her back off to him - I receive another phone call. "you didn't come in - why not - I have the cell phone you've been asking me for" (by the way, I needed the phone Friday night - but because he was running so late - he couldn't give it to me - so I resceduled my plans with the cell phone for another day.) then he said he had been cleaning the house all day and that it was spotless and that if his neice planned on moving in, she had better learn how to clean up after herself. I said 1) thats what happens when you entertain youngsters all the time and 2) welcome to what is called "house cleaning" something you didn't know any thing about for the last 13 years because I always did it all for you.
*** I was proud of myself for not walking in the house in the first place. Now that I'm gone - he is willing to clean and fix it up. As someone said to me on my facebook - If he couldn't consider my feelings before about the house then it's not worth my time to worry about it now.
4) TODAY - he drops our daughter off with out any warning - at about 12:30pm - no big deal - I'm happy to have her home. But he walks in MY new place like he owns it and searches all my rooms - like I was hiding someone or something. UGH!!!! Now that pisses me off the most. Then he tells our daughter that he lost his house key and needs hers. Well to know my husband - you know that that was bold out lie. He never loses anything - especially a "HOUSE" key. It's more like - I don't want you entering "MY" house with out my permission - so give me your key. So now he's taken away access to the only home she's ever known. Basically telling her that it's no longer her's. Thats okay - in time he'll get his - she doesn't want anything to do with that house as it is and if he keeps trying to control her and keeps taking things from her - he's gonna lose her too.
SO ALL IN ALL - 1st visitation weekend - a big huge flop. Please give advice before I blow my top. I know I need to see an attorney - but right now, just can't afford it. Hopefully after the new year. Any one have any ideas who has gone thru this. What do I do? How do I tell him that if he doesn't pick her up at a certain - then don't bother picking her up at all? How do I get it thru his head that he is not welcome in my house? How do I get it thru his head that he needs to communicate better with his "live in nanny" and or daughter? UGH!!!!!!!
1) He had his 20 yr old neice pick up our daughter Friday night at 8:30pm because he still wasn't home from work yet. He gets off at 3pm on Fridays. 5 1/2 hrs and still not home - ' just sayin'
*** Need to be some ground rules (like a specific pick up and drop off time - just in case I ever get a life.
2) We discussed the fact that our daughter was to walk in 2 Holiday Parades Saturday night one at 5:30pm and the other at 7pm. He claimed he would be hunting and unable to take her so I offered to take her in his place. Because as always - it was what she wanted to do and I always make sure to give her what she wants - especially when it's free. LOL
*** Any way - about 4pm I hear a knock on the door - it's my daughter - his neice just dropped her off and left with out a word. Then I receive a text from his neice to call him because he is pissed that our daughter was with me and not with him. So I called him and reminded him of the conversation the night before. Well he turned it around and said that he didn't know it would be so early - I told him I had no control over the situation and that he should have better communication with his neice if she is gonna be the one in charge during his visitation weekends.
3) After I dropped her back off to him - I receive another phone call. "you didn't come in - why not - I have the cell phone you've been asking me for" (by the way, I needed the phone Friday night - but because he was running so late - he couldn't give it to me - so I resceduled my plans with the cell phone for another day.) then he said he had been cleaning the house all day and that it was spotless and that if his neice planned on moving in, she had better learn how to clean up after herself. I said 1) thats what happens when you entertain youngsters all the time and 2) welcome to what is called "house cleaning" something you didn't know any thing about for the last 13 years because I always did it all for you.
*** I was proud of myself for not walking in the house in the first place. Now that I'm gone - he is willing to clean and fix it up. As someone said to me on my facebook - If he couldn't consider my feelings before about the house then it's not worth my time to worry about it now.
4) TODAY - he drops our daughter off with out any warning - at about 12:30pm - no big deal - I'm happy to have her home. But he walks in MY new place like he owns it and searches all my rooms - like I was hiding someone or something. UGH!!!! Now that pisses me off the most. Then he tells our daughter that he lost his house key and needs hers. Well to know my husband - you know that that was bold out lie. He never loses anything - especially a "HOUSE" key. It's more like - I don't want you entering "MY" house with out my permission - so give me your key. So now he's taken away access to the only home she's ever known. Basically telling her that it's no longer her's. Thats okay - in time he'll get his - she doesn't want anything to do with that house as it is and if he keeps trying to control her and keeps taking things from her - he's gonna lose her too.
SO ALL IN ALL - 1st visitation weekend - a big huge flop. Please give advice before I blow my top. I know I need to see an attorney - but right now, just can't afford it. Hopefully after the new year. Any one have any ideas who has gone thru this. What do I do? How do I tell him that if he doesn't pick her up at a certain - then don't bother picking her up at all? How do I get it thru his head that he is not welcome in my house? How do I get it thru his head that he needs to communicate better with his "live in nanny" and or daughter? UGH!!!!!!!
Join the Conversation