Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Well, once again I had to do the hard thing.... I asked my stbx for lunch yesterday and just said it right out. I will always love you, but I no longer want to follow your path, and I have to do what is right for my life. I won't be able to give you money anymore and I won't wait for you any longer. I will be filing for divorce as soon as I can get the paperwork together.
whew! He started smiling and held my hand and said "thank you". He said I will always be the love of his life, but his dreams and goals are different than mine and when he turned 40 he realized he couldn't deny those any longer. He said he was to afraid of saying the word divorce, and was glad I had the courage once again to do what needed to be done. He thanked me for setting him free to go.
He knows exactly what he wants, but I on the other hand will have to learn mine, because I always latched onto his star for so long.
He wants to build a small boat and live on it up and down the east coast. A beach bum pretty much and in the winter months go up to the desert, live in a tent, take workshops on living completely off the grid...
His dreams seem so lofty and noble, I feel stupid and dumb for just wanting normal stuff. I want my little apartment, a savings, a vacation occasionally. I don't want to worry about where my next meal will come from.
So.. the question is now.. who am I if I'm not a wife.... its all I've ever known. I feel relief, but I"m sooo scared and feel like I'm walking into the great unknown. I'm so glad this makes him happy, but I am grieving the loss of the dream we had 15 years ago of two young people wanting to make a forever life together. why couldn't us being happy together be enough? I don't understand! We never fought, were great friends, had good times (mostly) I was a good wife to him. But that black cloud of depression and unfilled dreams always hung over his head.... I need to just let it go. I can do this. ohhhhh why am I so sad and scared then?
whew! He started smiling and held my hand and said "thank you". He said I will always be the love of his life, but his dreams and goals are different than mine and when he turned 40 he realized he couldn't deny those any longer. He said he was to afraid of saying the word divorce, and was glad I had the courage once again to do what needed to be done. He thanked me for setting him free to go.
He knows exactly what he wants, but I on the other hand will have to learn mine, because I always latched onto his star for so long.
He wants to build a small boat and live on it up and down the east coast. A beach bum pretty much and in the winter months go up to the desert, live in a tent, take workshops on living completely off the grid...
His dreams seem so lofty and noble, I feel stupid and dumb for just wanting normal stuff. I want my little apartment, a savings, a vacation occasionally. I don't want to worry about where my next meal will come from.
So.. the question is now.. who am I if I'm not a wife.... its all I've ever known. I feel relief, but I"m sooo scared and feel like I'm walking into the great unknown. I'm so glad this makes him happy, but I am grieving the loss of the dream we had 15 years ago of two young people wanting to make a forever life together. why couldn't us being happy together be enough? I don't understand! We never fought, were great friends, had good times (mostly) I was a good wife to him. But that black cloud of depression and unfilled dreams always hung over his head.... I need to just let it go. I can do this. ohhhhh why am I so sad and scared then?
a lot of us men have lofty dreams and our various calls of the wild, etc. but, lots of us find ways to do them while still maintaining relationships. i wonder why he couldn't do that too.
if you are sad and scared, i would guess that you need ideas of where women in your shoes can fit in now and be happy. maybe you can read stories of women online who have had to cross this bridge like you are. the world has a place for everyone. you can fit in wherever you want to once you figure out what is best for you.