Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It will be two full years this coming April since my ex walked out of our 22 ys marriage unexpectedly one weekend as I was away. I swear sometimes I am fine with it and I think it is the best thing that could have happened. We were not happy any longer in the marriage and it seemed like a rut. I felt lonely and felt like i was just sharing my apartment with a man who helped pay the bills. I no longer felt i had an actual husband. Somebody to share all my time with, my conversations with, etc etc. We grew apart and we were divorced without even knowing it. Why we stood in the marriage; I am sure today we both had our reasons. I believe his were because he had no escape and was looking for a way out and when he found his ex in Florida just took off. I stood cause of church reasons and cause my kids were younger then. Now we got divorced. He initiated it and we divorced in October 2011. However at times I feel so depressed in how he actually did the act. How he walked out, so cowardly, so cold, with no feelings, no regrets, no remorse, no nothing and I feel like i will never get over this pain. It is a pain that subsides but will never really and fully go away. It is a pain that keeps surfacing and hurting me to the point that sometimes i wish he would have killed me instead. Who was this man? I keep asking? I want him to hurt as much as i do but yet there are times that i feel he is actually doing better thanme. Vengeance. Yea I know it is the Lord's. Sad to say that sometimes i think HE takes too long in making someone as horrible as person as my ex to pay. I need to move forward really but will i EVER?
Maybe it will just take you some time.
It took me awhile to accept it was over and I am finally getting over the part of wanting him to suffer. He is not my problem, and what he does is not a part of me.
Live your life and live for YOU! Focus your energy on your success of getting through this pain. I'm sorry for your pain, but you CAN get through this.
work through the pain, make sure you take the time to cry, scream , throw things etc that you need to get it out ...
each time you get mad should get easier, and eventually you will feel the pain but won't react so violently towards it ...
as for him getting what he deserves, you may never see that but I believe that if they deserve it they will get it.... it may be that they never find what they are looking for, or maybe the new girlfriend will dump them ...
for my husband I think it will be that his kids don't have as great a relationship with him as they could, I doubt I will see proof of this anytime soon, but when they are older and they have to decide who to spend the holidays with I know they will choose me .... maybe then I will the relief I so badly need ....
Mine kicked me out to move his whore in and then asked, "aren't you going to give me a hug" when I got in the car to leave. Really now. I was homeless for a year , and no job. I went from couch to couch. And they do become cold. They move on to a new life. So their loyalty is somewhere else.
Once you forgive, you will be able to move on. Forgiving is Not forgetting. And it is not for them, it is for You. It doesn't mean totally forget, when it says in the Bible to forgive and forget. It means to let the pain go, and learn from the experience. When you learn to forgive. The rest will fall into place.
Don't think the good Lord has not started working on that revenge for you. You don't really know if he is happy or not. And if she knew that he was married. Woe is she. She will get the same. I don't sit and wait for him to get what he is going to get. I just know in the back of my mind he will. Because God said he would take care of it.
Try to write it all out and hand it over to God. He has bigger shoulders. He can handle more.
I hope you can find some sense in what I wrote and hope it helps you. ((hugs))