In my case- it wouldn't make a difference bc everything I post on here are things I already say to him but this is definitely something to think about...

I think it would make me really uncomfortable to have my ex on here. I would probably feel like I couldn't really say what's on my mind because she would be here lurking.

Yeah, I'd hate for my to know how pathetic I've become. Probably would push her even further away. Oh well.

In my case I never worried about it...he is a narcissist and would never join a group like this.

I have often wondered the same. I don't think my husband is looking for this kind of support. I think he is meeting plenty of people that he can vent to.

I actually tell him how I feel and show him the daily emails from DivorceCare - they really lay it out how tough this is. It only adds to his feelings of guilt - not that I mind that.

My Ex is thrilled to leave me...relieved and living like a teenager

so she would NEVER be here

Yes, I've thought about it a time or two, I think I would be uncomfortable if he were here but then I think, what the heck, everything I say is from my heart and he has heard it in person while I was fighting to reconcile with him and what he did was just plain mean and uncalled for. He knows he broke my heart but I don't think he can comprehend the depth of my broken heart or the mess I have become.

Quite honestly, I don't think he would even think to look for a place like this, he quit going to marriage counseling, why would he think he needs to talk about his feelings with a bunch of strangers. I think it's a rare find to have men so willing to share their feelings like the men on here......great job men, it's extremely helpful to hear your side of things.

I too have thought of that, I don't think she would though cause she does not need support, she's happy in her little bubble...
someday she may....
she will face the facts sooner or later, by then I'm hoping to be happy and will enjoy watching her with the pain I'm dealing with.

This being a place where one should be able to come for support and speak freely without repercussions regardless.

Which in saying that, I wouldn't care if my ex read what I wrote, but I would care at her fierce and relentless defensive backlash so to clear her name. I am not one that will go toe to toe with others to prove a point or whatever it is that people do that for. I'll walk away before I stoop to a certain level. Which would effect my time here then.

I really couldn't see how it wouldn't for anyone.

Make a enough of a difference to save the marriage? Probably not. As my lawyer said, "he's not listening to you". That shut me up. Post divorce he actually did "get" most of what I said....but that's beside the point....he didn't....wouldn't.....care about MY concerns.

I'm glad that he's sober, sorry that he had to experience what I went through with someone else (after he left me, he got together with someone that drank more than him).....but it didn't make a difference.

In the end, he's the one that lost.....because I was the tie that kept him close to his kids. After the divorce that responsibility fell on his own shoulders....and he dropped the ball. Oh he calls them, he's seen them....but it's no where what his relationship could have been.

He sees that and it's his big regret.

LOL, Mine is such a narcissist she would probably come on for support but only briefly because all these feelings would bore her

I believe the only reason for most to come here would be if they found out you are here and to see what is being said about them.
For support, I highly doubt it.

I sometimes think of that since he was on the DS Hep C list for a long time. But, like many, he's become a complete narcissist and only cares about himself. I'm sure he's honeymooning with the OW but at some point he will reveal his true self. I come here for support and try to lend support when I can. I sure he doesn't care what I feel so it would be a waste of time for him.