Oh dear. That kind of rage is pretty scary. My ex bf had bought me a Takamine guitar. It was beautiful. Only two weeks later did I catch him in a red handed lie. He woke up that morning to the guitar on his deck after I put my foot through it.

I hated the person that I was. WE(you and I ) are so much better than that.

Stay away from that poisonous relationship, and might I also suggest you work with a therapist to work through your out-of-body-rage-type experiences? Reactions to bad behaviors can be just as damaging to the behaviors that caused them. hugs to you.

He's gas lighting you. That is typical emotional abuse. Read as much as you can and good luck. Try no contact, get the power back and try to break that addiction and bonds you have with him.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted

The underpinning of shame is rage for anyone.

He acts out his rage upon you and it induces and exposes the rage within you.

Makes sense to me...for what you've been through in your life.

Wow, very interesting. Gaslighting-never heard of that. Out of body type rage - never experienced that. Two more reasons it was a good thing I got dumped earlier than later. Not rejection, protection. Even the most stable persons (in which I've always considered myself) go thru trama and trama having it's side effects. Peace to you all.

Yikes! I strongly recommend No Contact. Get your emotions in check by working with a therapist and reflecting on your own behavior, not in a self-critical way, but definitely do some introspective work.

Looked up the term "gaslighting". This is the best article I found pertaining too.

http://voices.yahoo.com/what-gaslighting-148783.html

Sunset, never let a man steal your joy. If he brings you to that level of rage, it's definitely time to move on. And everything he screamed at you, is what he feels about himself. He's toxic. Run from toxic people. I have removed all toxic people from my life at this point which included my ex and some family members. Don't allow any person to suck the positivity out of your life...it's not good...that's when women end up on the show "Snapped."...LOL. And he's so not worth it.

I felt like I understood the woman on Snapped for the first time yesterday. Not a good thing!!! But its hard to understand their reasoning until you put yourself in their shoes... in my case, almost their situation. I'm afraid to be alone, but I'm almost more afraid to stay.
Gaslighting article felt like it was written by someone inside my head. Almost every experience mentioned as an example I have experienced.
I believe the long suppressed shame of my childhood does lie the seeds for my personal rage Tigerpaws, and hes been watering them for years now. I'm so confused what to do from here. I have a lot of things at his place, yearbooks, old journals, sketch books, and he told me I need to pay for a new door. He LITERALLY told me he was trying to make my life hard because that's what he feels I do to him. I,feel so dumb allowing this to go on for so long and as I'm writing this STILL ACTUALLY wondering if he will call and apologize .. ugh!

Sunset, if that is you in the pic in your profile...you won't be single for long...LOL. Please run and run fast...he's an emotional manipulator...been there, done that, got a tee shirt. These men seek to screw you up mentally to the point you question your very existence on this earth.

Take an officer with you and a friend...go retrieve your things, and don't look back. He is attempting to detriorate you self confidence. Many women who have endured childhood trauma or rejection by a father or some male figure in their life often find themselves in relationships such as this, where you think you are not worthy of respect or love and that the drama is your fault, BUT IT IS NOT.

THIS DUDE IS MENTALLY FUCKED AND HE'S TRYING TO FUCK YOUR MIND UP AS WELL. I endured 8 years of bullshit....until I had the strength to recognize (which I thank God for) to walk away...and I never returned, because when I say the words "I'm done" I mean it.

You have to look in your mirror and say your are sick of yourself and change because you want to heal...forget him, he sucks...you can heal from this.

nekaj is right. you just have to stay away from him. put you and your health first and elminate all contact.

your confidence/energy fill will NEVER come from him. it will come from within yourself. the sooner you understand this the sooner you will be able to move forward as the healthy, smart, beautiful woman that you are.

Insightful, thanks for the support! I know he's just trying to bring me down to his low sad level, and I'm tired of it. He's all about external instant happiness, and I know better and still get manipulated time after time. He has a warped view of the world, the poor, other races, children, marriage, right and wrong... woah I could just keep going..
Nekaj... funny you mention you caught him in a lie... I caught my bf in a lie last night right before I kicked the door/window. It had nothing to do with cheating, but the fact he was bold face lying to me and then tried to twist it around on me acting jealous and snooping through his things completely enraged me. He still doesn't get it was about the lie, not even what the lie was about. Yuck I'm exhausted just writing this

One time, I heard somebody talk about the gift of goodbye. It means when somebody chooses to leave, you may not realize it right away, but they just did you a huge favor. Maybe that person was holding you back. Maybe they were keeping you from spreading your wings. Maybe they werent a good influence. When somebody leaves your life, a business partner, a friend, a neighbor, a coworker; dont take it personally. Dont get upset. Dont try to talk them into staying. Let God do a new thing in your life. Your destiny is not tied to the people who walk away from you. Osteen