I became the caregiver for my five year old grandson six months ago. It was just supposed to be for a month or so while they did home study on my son. My grandson was physically abused by his mother and/or her boyfriend. My husband of 11 1/2 years did not want this but agreed and even help set up room for him. I did everything for the child and never asked for help from him. He stayed at his dad's sometimes. My husband felt my grandson was disrespectful and interrupted when we were talking. I had to bribe him to eat. My son and I had not been able to see him for over a year and before that only couple times a year. Son and child's mother were never married. Grandson never had much attention, proper discipline or taught how to eat with utensils. His little one year old brother was often left in his care and he was only four years old. I felt My husband's way of correcting him was too harsh. He is loud and caused my grandson to cry, he never physically touched him. My husband complained about him being with us so long but DCF weren't filing reports or processing home study so there was nothing i could do. I was so irritated at him that I said to him on two occasions if it's too much than leave. I regret saying it but can't take it back. I realize now that I was neglecting my husband and I believe I drove him into the arms (and bed) of another woman who is twice his age younger. He told me I didn't put him first and he would find someone who did. I discovered (thru the bill) that he was texting and talking go someone from his work. He used to call me several times a day and tell me his every move, then one day I nonchalantly said where we're you when I called and he blew up on me. He always told me he loved me after every phone call. We decided to separate ultimately both moved to separate places. After we decided to separate and before we actually did he stopped calling me and stopped telling me he loved me at first he stopped kissing me goodbye but then he started again and still does. However the last three weeks we were together we made love more than we had in the last three years and more passionately than in the last ten years. I had put my grandson at his dad's house even though officially he hadn't been transferred. We separated in less than one month after everything came to blow. It's only been a week and half since he actually moved into his own place. I helped him move and he helped me move and did several things for me. He came over one day to do some things and is coming tomorrow.
I hurt so bad. I miss him so bad. I didn't realize how much I loved him. When I tried to ask if we could work on reconciling he states he doesn't know and starts rehashing old arguments and yelling. He doesn't call, email or text. I'm trying to leave him alone although I have emailed a few times to express my love and my feelings and to apologize for neglecting him but he doesn't acknowledge the emails he will text to find out what time to come over. Other than hug or kiss goodbye there is no physical touch between us since we moved separately.
I don't know what to do. Totally leave him alone? Not see him at all? Continue to express my love? I am not sleeping, I am having hard time functioning. I've tried going out to dinner with friends. I keep my grandson although he stays mostly with his dad. I just don't know what to do and he refuses to talk about it. I don't know if he is seeing someone or not but I suspect she may have moved in with him because he cannot live or stay alone very often. What should I do?