How do I start this, it's been 11 months since I've stopped communicating with my ex she's made no attempt to contact me, I've made none to contact her. We were together for about 4 years. Those years I thought I had found the love of my life, noted I'm only 22 years old and what could I possibly know what love is. If I go back 4 years ago I remember seeing her for the first time gazing into her eyes I'd had never felt that feeling before, I have been attracted to other woman before but no sensation like I felt when I saw her. I had to know her. Something in me something it just had to meet her. I've never felt that sensation with any other woman I've come to meet. I know people say all time"time heals all wounds" such a horrible thing to hear. It's been 11 months no contact what's so ever. I know from friends that she has been seeing someone new.
Our last conversation I told her I want her to do what makes her happy, all I want is for her to be happy. She has completely blocked me out of her life. All methods of ever trying to contact she blocked me. I'm not shocked by her actions. I know she probably just wants to forget me or forget what we had. It's understandable. I've tried moving on these 11 months. Tried forgetting the past letting go of memories. True finding enjoyment in this life without her. But nothing seems to fill that hole that she has left. It's like a part me me was ripped out when we ended. When I look in the mirror I don't see myself, I see an image of someone else. It's not me. I've tried everything talking with friends and family, I've tried getting out more going to gym taking up new hobbies, even dating. But none of those things can compare to a single second, a single heartbeat. To why I use to feel when I was with her. I know she has moved on and has new person in her life and she is happy, and that's what I wanted for he to be happy to live her life the way she wanted. As for myself I don't know what else to really do, every night for 11 months I still dream about her, everyday for last 11 months I still think of her. There's nights were I stay up screaming at myself to just forget just let go. But I just cant seem to let her go. She is a different person now, she isn't the girl who I fell in love with I repeat that to myself everyday. I'm just so tired. I can't enjoy my life. I'm not happy. This hole that's inside me is just eating away at me. I don't know what to do. I found the love of my life, and I lost her. Now I'm just sifting through this lonely void which never seems to end... What a life..