Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I found this and thought the group would enjoy this
1. The people who make your life more stressful.
Stress isnt necessarily a bad thing in fact, its what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be rather healthy.
However, you should aim to only be stressed by situations and not by people. If you have people in your life who are constantly managing to stress you out, thats your mind telling you and trying to motivate you to remove them from your life.
Life is stressful as it is. You dont need someone making it more so.
2. The people who use you.
To be fair, everyone uses everyone and usually its OK. We interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some way. If we didnt believe it would, then we wouldnt find sufficient reason to interact with them.
Sometimes we find people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us. Most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing.
Then you have those toxic individuals who use you and leave you worse off, sucking you dry and feeding off you like a parasite.
These sorts of people have no place in your life; dont bring them into 2015.
3. The people who dont respect you.
Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; thats how respect works. If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, tell them to buzz off.
Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life.
4. The people who always manage to hurt you.
People can be silly sometimes. The people we keep a part of our lives are the people we care about or at least, that ought to be the case. Some of these individuals, sadly, end up hurting us and causing us pain.
The problem is that when others cause us pain, were reminded of how much those people mean to us. If they could hurt us emotionally, we must care for them and what they think of us a great deal so we allow them to remain a part of our lives.
Often, well even allow these individuals to take up more room. People hurt other people its just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who cant manage to stop hurting you, do yourself a favor and cut that person off.
Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag.
5. The people who cant seem to stop lying to you.
Everyone lies. In fact, within the first few minutes of meeting a new person, that person is likely to lie to you a handful of times. Most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust.
Fill your life with trustworthy people and youll be far better off. You can find lies just about anywhere. Finding the truth, on the other hand, is much more rare.
6. The people who smile to your face and then insult you behind your back.
These are the scum of the scum, cowards that dont have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while telling the rest of the world that youre a piece of sh*t.
These people will ruin your reputation and, as most of us now know, reputation matters a whole lot in the world we live in. Only idiots would start a new year with these sorts of individuals in their life.
7. The people who dont care about you, but love to pretend they do.
Weve all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when its convenient for them.
These toxic individuals are pseudo friends a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help theyre miraculously nowhere to be found.
These individuals are especially toxic because they give you the illusion of a safety net. You think you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground.
8. The people who drag you back into your old lifestyle.
Life is only interesting and exciting if its constantly progressing. Only when were constantly moving forward, constantly improving ourselves and our surroundings, are we able to find contentment and happiness.
Most people always manage to keep people in their lives who are holding on to the life you once had.
You have worked hard to progress and make changes, but these individuals prefer life the way it used to be, and do their best to bring you back to the cave you just crawled out of.
Be wary of these folks, theyre often difficult to pinpoint and always manage to revert the progress you worked so hard to make.
9. The people who hold you back.
Theres a fact to life that Ive grown to accept over the past few years a fact that isnt especially pleasant, but nonetheless necessary to accept as truth: Many people in your life, the people you call friends, shouldnt be a part of your life.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, often leaving the relationships we have in place outdated.
Many of the people in your life likely dont want to live the life youre building for yourself. Because theyre egocentric, theyll do their best to create their version of their ideal life and drag you into it.
Most times, people fail to create the life of their dreams because they surround themselves with people aiming for something entirely different.
If your goals arent aligned, your lives arent either.
10. The people just taking up space.
Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited. Time is limited. Space is limited. What you can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We cant, and never will be able to, have it all.
This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with.
You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time you just dont have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more.
If youre filling your life with half-assed individuals, youre bound to create a half-assed life. If someone isnt adding to your life, then, by default, theyre taking away from it.
1. The people who make your life more stressful.
Stress isnt necessarily a bad thing in fact, its what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be rather healthy.
However, you should aim to only be stressed by situations and not by people. If you have people in your life who are constantly managing to stress you out, thats your mind telling you and trying to motivate you to remove them from your life.
Life is stressful as it is. You dont need someone making it more so.
2. The people who use you.
To be fair, everyone uses everyone and usually its OK. We interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some way. If we didnt believe it would, then we wouldnt find sufficient reason to interact with them.
Sometimes we find people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us. Most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing.
Then you have those toxic individuals who use you and leave you worse off, sucking you dry and feeding off you like a parasite.
These sorts of people have no place in your life; dont bring them into 2015.
3. The people who dont respect you.
Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; thats how respect works. If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, tell them to buzz off.
Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life.
4. The people who always manage to hurt you.
People can be silly sometimes. The people we keep a part of our lives are the people we care about or at least, that ought to be the case. Some of these individuals, sadly, end up hurting us and causing us pain.
The problem is that when others cause us pain, were reminded of how much those people mean to us. If they could hurt us emotionally, we must care for them and what they think of us a great deal so we allow them to remain a part of our lives.
Often, well even allow these individuals to take up more room. People hurt other people its just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who cant manage to stop hurting you, do yourself a favor and cut that person off.
Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag.
5. The people who cant seem to stop lying to you.
Everyone lies. In fact, within the first few minutes of meeting a new person, that person is likely to lie to you a handful of times. Most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust.
Fill your life with trustworthy people and youll be far better off. You can find lies just about anywhere. Finding the truth, on the other hand, is much more rare.
6. The people who smile to your face and then insult you behind your back.
These are the scum of the scum, cowards that dont have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while telling the rest of the world that youre a piece of sh*t.
These people will ruin your reputation and, as most of us now know, reputation matters a whole lot in the world we live in. Only idiots would start a new year with these sorts of individuals in their life.
7. The people who dont care about you, but love to pretend they do.
Weve all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when its convenient for them.
These toxic individuals are pseudo friends a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help theyre miraculously nowhere to be found.
These individuals are especially toxic because they give you the illusion of a safety net. You think you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground.
8. The people who drag you back into your old lifestyle.
Life is only interesting and exciting if its constantly progressing. Only when were constantly moving forward, constantly improving ourselves and our surroundings, are we able to find contentment and happiness.
Most people always manage to keep people in their lives who are holding on to the life you once had.
You have worked hard to progress and make changes, but these individuals prefer life the way it used to be, and do their best to bring you back to the cave you just crawled out of.
Be wary of these folks, theyre often difficult to pinpoint and always manage to revert the progress you worked so hard to make.
9. The people who hold you back.
Theres a fact to life that Ive grown to accept over the past few years a fact that isnt especially pleasant, but nonetheless necessary to accept as truth: Many people in your life, the people you call friends, shouldnt be a part of your life.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, often leaving the relationships we have in place outdated.
Many of the people in your life likely dont want to live the life youre building for yourself. Because theyre egocentric, theyll do their best to create their version of their ideal life and drag you into it.
Most times, people fail to create the life of their dreams because they surround themselves with people aiming for something entirely different.
If your goals arent aligned, your lives arent either.
10. The people just taking up space.
Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited. Time is limited. Space is limited. What you can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We cant, and never will be able to, have it all.
This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with.
You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time you just dont have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more.
If youre filling your life with half-assed individuals, youre bound to create a half-assed life. If someone isnt adding to your life, then, by default, theyre taking away from it.
My big thing is trust...been burnt a few times
negative
unaccepting
may as well just crawl under a rock
but then
how could anyone bathe in their very own narcissistic perfection
seems to me
friendly with all types of people
without them bringing you down
would be
the ultimate goal
@Larry...Matthew 7:1 does say don't judge. However, there is a disjoint between judging and constructive criticism sometimes to some people
The article has its merits, I just felt it was overkill. We have to learn acceptance of misbehavior without it affecting us negatively. We should have enough strength in our own character whereby others don't play all that much of an influence. It wasn't until post divorce life did I discover I needed to lean on others and find validation from them. The article is fairly good read if you're the sheep and not the shepherd. Prior to my divorce I was in charge of 100+ people. I dealt with all personalities and couldn't or shouldn't just ignore them and pass them off as unworthy simply because there is good in everyone. And we don't all lie like the article states. I did in high school. That would be like 39 years ago. I find no purpose in lying, period.
The church at Corinth was told to judge those within. We could exchange verses until the cows come home. That's the reason I quit reading that book after reading the New Testament 400 to 600 times, even though I still believe God is God. I could argue both sides of a topic with equal conviction, including the family of verses that substantiated said topic. Doing transcends knowing is what I finally concluded. This article lacks in proper doing, IMO.