Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
I've been doing better emotionally recently, but I still have these surges of anger. My anger is about the drunk driver that hit me.
I feel like I'm moving forward - I'm hopeful about the new year - but then -wham- the anger comes out of the blue. Thankfully, these surges aren't lasting too long right now.
Anyone else dealing with this or have dealt with it in the past?
I feel like I'm moving forward - I'm hopeful about the new year - but then -wham- the anger comes out of the blue. Thankfully, these surges aren't lasting too long right now.
Anyone else dealing with this or have dealt with it in the past?
I was extremely angry with my boss. She posted daily information on a website I created sharing intimate details of my condition. She stole a picture of me on my bike and posted it there and in the newspaper with a clip of how I was surely looking at death. She went out of her way to tell a friend (and not a real close one) everything that happened. She told a very close friend every day...I would never be the same...I would this...I would that...alot BS. I had multiple reasons to be pissed at her!
Then...I came back to work and the real BS started. I came back in a wheel chair. I couldn't get to my desk, my personal things were on a top shelf...nothing had been done to prepare my work area for my limitations. I with the help of some coworkers took care of that when I showed up and couldn't get in.
As I was trying to get back into the swing of things...she nailed me every time she could...put more on me and said things out of line. I finally went to a counselor to find out if I was crazy or if she was in fact out of line after going to Human Resources and our big boss didn't do much to retify the problem.
Now, I didn't only have the anger from what she did to my family when I couldn't stop her or to my friends who were praying for my life...add I came back to work approximatly 4 weeks after my release from the hospital as tolerated...meaning I could work as long as I could, but no time limit. I was trying I was trying with every thing I had and borrowing from what I didn't have from somewhere else. I was so mad I couldn't look at her...couldn't speak either because...well...I think you get it.
After the counselor told me to press charges against her for badgering me on my "documented disability" I refused because it wasn't the hosptial's responsibity. I've come to learn....it was because I had reported it and they continued to allow it. I still wanted to give all I had to give to the hospital...that's who I work for...not my boss!
I tried a trick I'd learned years ago...from yet another counselor. I knew if I didn't do something the anger was going to do me in! I followed that counselors advice. I wrote her a letter. In that letter I told her every single thing that she had done to piss me off. I didn't watch what I said...I said it straight from the heart...every single thing I was bottling up inside. I never finished it, but had to take a break so I sent it home so I could finish it later. The last step is to sign the letter and burn it. Watch it burn and tell yourself with it goes the anger.
I never burned it. I never finished it. It's still in my email for me to finish if I feel the need. I think...it was really just the spilling it out of myself that was the therapy. I didn't have to hold back or worry about being nice. I let her have all the rage I had inside. Almost immediatly I felt better!
I still don't care for her much, but...I didn't care for her much before TBI and that is still there, but I can speak to her without being afraid of being insubordinate.
Since all of this, the hospital hired a new boss for me...demoted her, because of the things she was doing. They knew I'd win if I did take it to court. I'm almost positive my counselor that told me to sue contacted them and told them what I had told him myself...I want to contribute until I'm no longer able to do that.
It sounds like you need total release. Try this and see if it works for you.
I have written one to my boss that fired me. I have written one to the guy that did this to me. I even wrote one to friends that have left me. I never send them...but I still have them. I write it all out. Of course some days I would like to go on a punching rampage, but it is a relief to get all of the thoughts and feelings out of me.
Its not a cure all for sure, but it does help.
Yep to both of you - I do write out my feelings (have a lovely collection of angry letters). Am dealing with my anger some with my Psychologist. But still have these weird flashes out of nowhere.
Perhaps...you need the final steps...sign it and burn it.Totally let go of the anger...don't keep it on paper to remind you or for someone else to find. It's yours but if you gaurd it...it won't go away.
I think...the fire was to symbolize the destruction of the angry feelings...nothing continues after a total burning. The anger...reduced to ashes or whiffs of smoke carried away from me into the air. Either way...nothing left remotely resembling acting on the anger.
Remember too anger is a normal emotion. I still get angry when I see how much further I have to go...for complete recovery IF I can even dream I'll get there someday. It's the control we give it that matters. Whether we write 1 letter or millions.
If you want to get rid of THIS anger, Forgive the drunk driver and move on. Life is full of ups and downs, enjoy what time you have left.
I'm a very honest person, so I have to tell the truth that I'm not really ready to forgive the guy.
But, good news, I think I dealt with the last "big issue" I was holding inside about the accident at my last psych session. We'll see how I feel as the week progresses!