Hi , CC. How old is your baby? Congratulations . My daughter Amy just turned 28 years old yesterday. I am conntinually amazed at the phenomenal woman she is.

Before I got married , I had already had brain surgery, so had one tbi I was dealing with. Amy arrived a year and 1/2 later. When she was 10 weeks old, we all were in a car accident that left me on life support for 3 weeks and I had a global head injury to add to the 1st tbi.
Amy wasn't hurt in the car accident and was taken by my parents while Mark and I were in the hosp. Amy wasn't on a schedule at all at this point ( i didn't know how to do it ) . One day my mother came in to see me and said 'I have started putting a little cereal in her formula so she sleeps through the night." Amy started sleeping from 6 pm to 6 am. ( We kept that schedule when we were home) .

One of the best things to do is get baby on a schedule, You sleep when the baby sleeps. I also used to put Amy on my chest and lie on the couch in the afternoon just to rest a bit. Another thing I did was arrange with a babysitter ( a teen) that whenever she had a snowday with no school, I would get her and she would babysit for the afternoon while I went to the mall. This was a much needed break for me.

A personal question: is dad in the picture? I know it was a help having Mark home in the evening ; my brain was fried by then. He also took total care of Amy ( and later, Rachel) on Sunday, giving me a day off.

Amy was not a napper; she would nap for 45 mins ( literally) then be awake for 2 hours screaming. This was so hard, but we somehow made it through until about 7 months when she started regular naps.But I can't totally blame her; she had a hard beginning to life with that car accident.

I'd be happy to give you more ideas. Just message me if you want to hear them. Things will become more stable as the baby gets older, and your tbi may not play as much a part as you think. Let's talk more, - Holly

Hi CC- I'm continuing my post. I was writing the previous post right before we left for Amy's birthday party. Typical me, thinking I could write and give ideas while also under a time limit to write. I"m sorry about that.

I've been thinking a little more, and remembered some of the things i did. First, make sure YOU are healthy. Have your thyroid checked ( mine was low for years and all I wanted to do was sleep),and be sure your B 12 levels are good, Those are needed for energy. I also kept things simple at suppertime. One of the things hurt by my tbis is my ability to cook. So I'd find recipes that I understood and practiced ( and perfected ) them. I had several that had hamburger, onions and green peppers in them, so would buy 3 or 4 pounds of hamburg, fry it all with loads of peppers and onions, then divide the lot into one cup measurements ( or whatever the recipes called for) and would freeze it all. That way , on the day I needed the mixture, it just needed to be thawed , then put together with the rest of the ingredients. I also did this with chicken- buy a ton of drumsticks and cook them, Then I deboned them and divided it all up like the hamburger and froze it. ( The easiest way to cut chicken into bitesized pieces is to take a biscuit cutter - that round thing with a handle- and just cut thte chicken with that. A twist of the wrist, and you have bite size chunks). We always had vegetables and potatoes with meals, but nothing spectacular because of my cooking limits. ( I did make scollaped potatoes , but it was tricky). Amy has married into a family that loves to entertain , and they are amazed at the food she hasn't tried all because I didn't know how to prepare any of them. Thankfully her mom in law works with people with dementia , so understands head injury and knows I have certain limits. ( But no dementia).

Mark also took a lot of videos of the girls. ( These were the days of the VCR) . I don't remember a lot of their childhoods until they hit middle school. I will occasionally ask Mark how we managed to have such exceptional children, and he'll remind me of how we raised them, taught them how to disagree, and handle conflict. I don't remember doing it, but I know I have the abilities ( I was a social worker with teens) , so can believe it. So tape and take lots of pictures. You might want to even keep a journal that you will treasure later. ( I just looked at the entry I made when Rachel was about 3 yrs old and said "my nose has 2 nozzles").

What are your concerns right now? I"m sure you'll remember to feed and change the baby. Right now he/she just needs the basics, and to know he/she is Loved. It sounds like you're already doing that.

Do what you need to keep life simple. Yes, the baby is going to take most of your time, but that changes as the months go on and he/she gets into his/her own schedule. As far as tbi is concerned. work within your limits. At the time the girls were very small, that meant writing all menus down. keeping a calendar on the fridge with things like 'laundry " written on certain days so I wouldn't forget. , and other concrete reminders . The girls never felt they came in second. Rather, they grew up with understanding "mom hit her head" and learned to accomodate my few limits , and are more compassionate with others because of it.

Relax,mom, and enjoy your baby. Rest, eat healthy things and eat often to keep energy up, Take naps when the baby does- the laundry will always be there. ( Besides, Rachel used to love to sit in her baby chair on the washer while I folded clothes on the dryer). If you experience new troubles with your tbi, get tested ( neuropsyc) and see if there is something new going on. The psychologist will help you with strategies to compensate. But don't borrow trouble. Learn your nursery rhymes ( they help with the child's ability to read ) and ENJOY! This time is precious and only happens once. -Holly