Brain Injury Support Group

Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.

698 Members
2,745 Posts
0 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Brain Injury Support Group

Inappropriate anger

Dykebear
Dykebear

I received a call the other day. My book publisher,  wanting to know if they could help with the 4th book. The woman asked how I was. I skipped over the question, lime I normally do. But she didn't let it drop.


So I told her, car accident in april.


And the woman said "everything happens for a reason" followed by "You are going to be ok". 


I lost my lid.


I started screaming through gritted teeth about how I am going to spend the rest of my life as a moron. 



I hung up furious.


I've published three books and started compiling for my 4th several months ago.


I've made almost no progress since the vertigo started in Septmber. I still only have a skeleton.


The outburst scared my wife. 


Why would someone who knows nothing about my medical say it's going to be Ok? And furthermore "everything happens for a reason"???? What the hell is that?


Am I supposed to be comforted by this?


Am I supposed to then fall at her feet and say thank you so much for your insight!! That makes everything better!



I calmed down. I was able to recognize it was inappropriate anger and out burst.


I have written my whole life. It has never been my primary job, but a deeply heated passion that has driven me.


Journalism in high school.


Three books, and a weekly  public blog I kept for 5 years. 


Now I get dizzy focusing. 


Yesterday's, class was 2 hours and I'm in bed all day today.


Word salad, long boughtsof memory issues 


Writing helped me grow, forced me to stretch and learn. Now what?


My anger was inappropriate. I own that. If I had the number from the lady I would call back and apologize. I tried and it sent me to a main line.


The question  is still left in the air.


Now what?




redloui
redloui
my partner does the same kind of outbursts, its a remnant of your concussion/brain injury, and one of the more fun ones to live with. NOT! I never know what's going to set him off, when I'm going to be at fault for Everything, and when "pass the salt" can cause WWIII, if I don't shut-up and say "yes dear". He's knows that's kind of our safe word, for when he's acting out. I'm sure that's not the kind of support you were looking for, but its a perspective different than yours. my partner is also a writer, un-published, but struggling daily with the words on the page. some days are productive, others, he gives up and plays with the dog. we're 7 yrs out from 3 hits in one week, undiagnosed, un treated, and probably the straw that broke the camel's back, from a lifetime of minor concussions. Now permanent disability, and retirement. People in general who don't live with this, don't know what the heck to say. you'll get platitudes, dumb statements, happy wishes, etc. don't bite - they know nothing about what you're going through. Nor do I pretend to, but your outburst just sounded so familiar. Go ahead and try to apologize if it makes you feel better, or just ignore them, if you don't have to see them ever again. if its your publisher, someone must have a number for them? maybe have your wife make excuses for you, that's what I do with everyone he snaps at, my friends don't come around anymore, they don't think I should be with him, and that he should know better than to rage about like that.
now what? its up to you. moderating your own behaviour doesn't seem like familiar territory to brain injury patients, maybe explaining what you're living with? asking for some understanding? offer an apology? April is very fresh, you have a long journey ahead of you, your writing, and concentration, and photo phobia may get better, somedays it may be worse, its a new normal, and only you can find a way that works for you to deal with it. Sorry, WYSIWYG here, no sweet words, or platitudes, you're not alone, but you're the only one who can help yourself come to terms with what you're going through, and how others see, and react to you. whether you let them help, or block them out is up to you. Good luck, make the best "new you" you can. the old one is gone.