I don't know, you've got me confused too. My TBI was back in 1984 and I had more time to know who I was back then since I was 22 but if I had it at 10 years of age, then I would probably feel more as if my life started after my TBI. That's not to say my life doesn't feel like post and pre TBI now though.

sadly you're not alone. I ask myself the same questions and I have no answer for any of them and yes pills do change my personality too. I've been seeing a neurologist for a wasting cerebellum since adolescence. so I guess I wasn't "fully cooked" either. and I've read that any brain trauma can cause problems with personality changes. even before being given chemical altering drugs.

Popo, I used to have to deal with different seizure medicines all the time. Each one had different side affects that could make me moody or outgoing ; all sorts of things. The trouble was that the meds were changed like clockwork every 6 months because that's how long they would help my seizures. Underneath I was the same person ( and i"m sure you are too) , but twice a year I'd have to deal with side effects . My friends understood what was happening as soon as I told them that meds had changed again. It was up to me to decide if I wanted to deal with seizure control, but side effects, or having seizures, but no side effects from medication ( and going off the med that was causing problems) . It was totally my choice.

So you might want to give the meds some time to see IF they affect you at all. My college neuro said I Had to stay on a new med for 3 weeks ; that's how long it took to adjust to my system and ( perhaps) help the seizures. In the same way, the side effects, if any, might go away during this period. It was a month later that i"d call the doc and tell him whether I'd stay on the new med or not.

Give the new meds a chance , and if the side effects are something you can't deal with, call the doctor and tell him you want a consult. I believe you can be whoever you want to be. If the medicine is making you someone you don't like. get off it. It's your choice.

This may help you. My Doctor had me stop referring to myself pre TBI and in your case Pre TBI & stroke. He made me live in the "NOW" which meant I don't talk to friends pre TBI because nothing is the same anymore. I lost all my friends after my TBI anyway. You suffered at such a young age that anything was possible but torturing yourself with what if is pointless. You cant change anything. I used to do the what if thing and I was so lost and sad. But when I started my life new it opened up things all over again. Don't figure out what you should have done when its too late and your in your 70's-80's. I got my TBI at 45. I still have my life to lead. I took a Neuroscience test and worked to improve my cognitive skills and I feel like a new woman. I volunteer and do what makes me happy. Its hard work but so is anything worth doing. I'm sorry you don't know who you are because you weren't fully cooked, but what if you turned into someone you didn't respect ? You don't know or have to know who you might have been but who you are with what you have to work with. Write down some goals you can accomplish but make them measurable and attainable. You will get confidence that way. The meds are a pain in the ass, but I had to go thru that my whole life and only now at 49 found the right ones. You made perfect sense. Share or ask as much as you need to,as we all support each other here..