Hey mcqn8, You and your daughter are in my prayers. Some thoughts to try. Does your daughter have any interest in crossword puzzles...brain games? I have a small android tablet, and lots of free games in the google play store. This *brain exercise* I call it has been a huge help. It took time, I nearly threw my little phone across the room at first, it was very frustrating the eye/hand/brain cordination was bad....I'll never tell my scores....childs tetris...,but I have a stubborn streak and I was determined to do it..and slowly I saw improvement. My eyes are very light sensitive/brain gets overstimulated very easily and eye fatigue/pain can be bad, so I have to pace myself and rest often.

Since everyone is different, it might be trial and error to find a game/games your daughter is interested in. There is a free arcade full of different kinds of games on the shopping site Hsn.com....I play there all the time and never get bored, you just need a username and password...plus you win tickets playing that you can enter to win prizes....I won a gift card last year!! This also did alot for my self confidence in other areas....I felt like I had accomplished something.

I'm sorry to hear of your medical problems too, but I sure am glad they found out when they did and were able to help you..,maybe playing these arcade games would be an outlet for you too....there is a forum also to talk to others who play or just share day to day stuff....just a thought.

I'm divorced, cancer survivor, could never be a mother....your devotion and love brings tears to my eyes. You, yourself have also gone thru a trauma step by step with your daughter...and grief that must hurt alot, but there is always hope...remember where she was and how far she has come...her brain is still healing and there is no telling how far she will continue to improve...keep hope alive!! I'll try to think of more to add, but take good care of you, whatever feeds your soul....gives you peace and calm if that's possible. Mediation, biofeedback, visualuzation, I do these now and it helps!! God Bless You!

Thank you, thank you so much! Your friendship and insight is a huge benefit to me. I am going to try that site! Maybe it will help me keep my mind from going negative and crying all the time as the antidepressants wear off.

Is there any plan in place where your daughter could go and be suitably cared for so you can have some respite? Its important carers get this. Very important for all. I think cheesecake has a good idea, distraction, as well as using brain. Hope things improve for you all.TBI doesn't come easy for anyone, or there loved ones and friends.

Thank you I tried calling the Acquired brain injury association (45 min away) and they have a drop off centre where I can take her except they said by the time I get her there after her shower, breakfast and rehab work. There would not be about 2 hours left by the time I drove her all the way there and most of their activities are through the morning. I feel somewhat trapped. She has a rehab team that come in daily Mon-Fri and there is nothing on weekends. Oh how I wish there was something on weekends! I am still searching to see if I can find something, anything that will get her out of this house and rut she is in! Not only her but myself! I have been fighting depression and find all of this so overwhelming! I don't know what else to do short of posting an ad but who her age would be available through the day when most work and most girls and guys her age don't understand brain injury. Thankfully Jen was a nurse so her nursing college friends come once about every two months to see her if I arrange it all. I have no problem doing that I just find when the four girls are together the three girls talk about who's getting married and what's happening at work and I find my daughter listening but just starring at her fingers! They don't really include her in on the conversations! I'm so frustrated that all I do is cry because I feel so bad for her and all she has lost!
How can I change my way of thinking to be more positive? What did you guys do?
You have all been through so much! It sure is nice to have someone to talk to who really understands!

I haven't read anyone's response yet to make sure I gave you my gut response.First, I 'm very empathetic and sorry about your health. I fear that this could harm you more if you too don't get an outlet away from this sometimes. if you don't take care of you, you cant help anyone. Literally. I am There is a group called ARK out there that gets people with disabilities together for camp outs, games, hobbies, etc that is in all 50 states? try that? action breeds action, but you have to practice it to get it. I was a psych major and realize it is easier said than done, but life is hard and for us, if we don't find a reason to wipe our ass we don't until we have to.

MCQN8, how I feel for you knowing this path only too well. Respite helped, it gave me strength to carry on a little longer but the inevitable returned, the life force being sucked out of me. I developed PTSD more from the treatment of the insurance company than from the impairments of my son so that, everyday became so much harder. Finally I made the decision to put my son into a place of his own with 24 hour care. While this was not without it's problems initially, it did work out in the end. Finding appropriate caregivers and team of professionals to match my son proved another hurdle but we made it.
I wished I had taken supplements for the stress as the adrenal glands took a hit and my immune system suffered. I took better care of my son than I did of my self. My interests fell by the way as I didn't have the energy and strength to attend anymore. Perhaps if I had taken more time out I would have coped better. Spending a few hours at the beach alone worked wonders, I needed me time.
http://images.main.uab.edu/spinalcord/pdffiles/cogrehab.pdf
this website might help with some activites to do plus, bring out all the tried and true games played as kids. It also gave visitors something to do with my son, Jenga proved popular.
I wish I could give you the miracle answer but never found it myself.
Our move proved the best for this family but I have to say it was the hardest decision of my life and probably the most expensive, but the insurance did come to the party for some of the costs after a long and protracted process which also takes its toll on families.

I think that the positivity you and I had, comes from always being able to beat something, fix something, make it better than it was, but this time fixing it is out of our hands. Eventually you wear down, the batteries get depleted, something we've never encountered before and we lose the zest we once had. Understanding this made it more comprehendable, but hell it still rattles.
Knowing that there are many like you out here at least makes you feel not so alone. I liked the words of one lady on here who gave me the advice "Don't lose your own identity. Don't let others be the judge of your worth, be proud of who you are and hold your head up." Great words, and alas both of us failed to heed them over time - we both lost our identities, brain injury and all that it entails sucked us under. So MCQN8 (I deliberately give you capital letters) it is not too late, to be you, work on being you and tho that may mean taking more time out for you YOU MUST DO IT even if it is to just do nothing in pleasant surroundings in nature.
Chin up girl, look for solutions that maybe you've not wanted to take that path, sometimes we might have to do what is right for us under the circumstances.
Best of

Hello. I am new to this group, so reading and trying to get up to speed. I wanted to suggest Lumosity to you and perhaps you could do outpatient therapy so that she gets out and about more? Outpatient therapy was the only thing that would make my husband get out of bed most days.