Hi ElanieLanie,
I'm sorry to hear you've had a bad week. You sound like you are dealing with quite a bit. I know I'd be angry and depressed given your same circumstances. From what I've learned and seen, it seems anger and depression are very common in brain injuries. My sister suffered brain damage due to an illness and she too suffered from both.

well yeah I have it all too but I must say I don't get too depressed, I'm lucky on that count. I do of course have my down days and very down days but I am good at keeping myself going and have never needed to take pills for it that is a blessing for me. Anger on the other hand I have allot. Although I must say it is too getting slightly better I'm not sure why maybe the time that has gone or maybe because I have pushed so many people away and don't have so many left to get angry at, kind of sad isn't it but thats life. As I told you before Elaine I never get and never have got angry at the driver as I don't see the point what happened happened and can't be changed but I do get really mad at myself and embarrassed when I do silly things.I get so mad at humanity which is extreme yes but I just think people can really suck now and that annoys me but I'm trying as hard as I can to live for myself and to stop caring what people think. Like you said on another post or in reply to a journal entry maybe that some friends just can't take it and they are friends lite as you called them I need to get my head around that too and accept that not everyone wants to deal with all my problems. Not everyone can be that good a friend. It's tough though but this is how life has worked out for me and whats the choice curl up and cry or keep fighting for a better day. If we are still allive and all able to read this and reply it means we are fighters so we should keep going. Teres got to be a better day out there someday

I have the tbi, hubby has diagnosed 100%ptsd. Seldom seen that score here, so I agree, it isnt easy. He was also in a car accident as a child and never checked by a Dr. Banged his head and many years after we were married found out he had an eye injury loss of 20% vision in one eye from it. So suspect he could well have a tbi too. His depression and anger have pushed most of my friends lite (like that term) away. They just couldnt understand it all either, or some of my problems they could see. In a way were lucky, its a good sorting of people in your life, but can still hurt.

I have had 2 of the 3 you asked about. Never diagnosed with PTSD.

I had two really low points in my recovery. One...at the hospital. I didn't understand why I was being held and nobody thought I was with it enough to explain it to me. I wanted to go home. I needed to be home with family and friends surrounding me. I felt like a prisoner plain and simple.

The 2nd bout of depression hit hard when TBI "issues" came to the surface. It was one heck of a slap in the face to realize they were right at least to some degree. it took me awhile to figure out how to handle all of this, to accept the situation and to find the way I could overcome.

I was angry from day one! I showed anger to anyone and most everyone with an exceptions of a handful of people I know and love. I fought with the medical staff and anyone else who I never really cared for. I was not physically violent but I do (always have had) a mouth full of venom. I backed down grown men....nurses came in groups. I never struck out at them but they were pretty sure I would. They figured there was safety in numbers...it never intimidated me in any way.

After returning home, we stopped in at the hosptial I work at. Talked to alot of "so called friends" found out a lot of horrible lies that spread like wildfire...and that my boss was the ring leader of all of this. That pissed me off.

There was a combination of things that set my tone or reasons I was so angry. I learned that I had to deal with each piece individually...one piece at a time.

Out of desperation and fear that I would be insubordinate to my boss (which is way out of character for me before and after TBI) I fianlly remembered a counselors advice when I had some pent up anger before. He told me to write a letter...let it all out, don't be careful what I say...say it all loud, clear and exactly how I feel it. Afterwards I was to burn the letter...watch it burn and with it...my anger would disapate. He was right then. I tried it again.

I never had to burn the letter. It was so full of anger that was justified...meaning I had every right to be angry yet I was able to say it without fear of getting fired. I got it off my chest and it hasn't haunted me since.

I still don't like her but I can be in the same room as her and not have to watch my own mouth so hard.

I was angry at the other driver...he pulled out in front of me or she was on the road unlawfully...take your pick there's 2 stories.

I resolved that one by...the word accident means not on purpose. I will one day make the opportunity to talk to the driver but...I've forgiven already.

I was angry at the life flight crew...I refused flight and they paralized me and loaded me anyway. I know...logically they did what they thought was best but...my feelings were not taken into consideration; in my eyes...they kidnapped me took me against my will. They too will have their chance to explain their actions someday.

No lecture...figure out what is making you angry...then and only then can you find a way to deal with it and move on.

if I can help...just say the word...I'll do my best...always!!

My husband has a TBI & he has alot of anger & depression both. The anger is not about the accident or anything it is just were he had alot of frontal lobe damage the doctors said that would affect his personality & emotions & they were not kidding about that. Before the accident he was so calm & laid back & took alot to make him mad, now I can say one word wrong or do one thing wrong & he is so mad. That has been really hard for me. I am not use to him being so hateful all the time.
The depression I think is because he is in alot of pain & he really wants to go back to work. I wish there was something I could do to help him with both issues but I don't know what that would be.
It has really taken a toll on me trying to take care of him & him being so angry & hateful with me.

Thanks everyone for replying.

I think the anger is a combination of the TBI, the PTSD and just generally the unfairness of it all.

I too have frontal lobe damage. Pre-TBI I rarely, if ever got angry. It would have to be something HUGE to get me mad. And, when I did get mad, I was over it quickly. I would say that pre-TBI there are people who have known me for years & years who have never seen me angry.

Now I'm pissed off a lot. I dislike feeling this way because I feel like I'm not myself. It's not enjoyable. It's horrible to feel angry and depressed so much of the time. :(

And I can't seem to logic my way out of it. I know that, despite how bad things are, they could always be worse. And I know I can't change what happened.

And, most importantly, I know this just doesn't feel good to feel this way!

But maybe it's a stage I need to go through. I've written down how I feel. I've been to therapy for the PTSD and worked through my big issues of the PTSD. But I'm unfortunately left with a short fuse now.

I know one thing I need to do is keep busy. Boredom is a recipe for disaster. So that's the main thing I'm working on - trying to get a life together.

Good Luck & best wishes to you ElanieLanie..... I know it is hard for me to deal with but I just can't imagine what my husband goes thur with not being to control his emotions... we were married for 2 years when he had the accident & I had never really saw him angry. But I can't say that since the accident. I just keep praying that things will get better. Sunday will be one year since the accident.

I'm sorry you are feeling poorly. My bf also seems to get spurts of anger and bitterness...even aggression. Perhaps it is the normal ups and downs of recovery?