Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
Hi-it's been a while since I posted here, and I have a question. In May of 2009 I fell in my basement and hit my head on the cement floor. Apparently passed out for a little bit-have no idea how I got up to my kitchen-I have an old house, and to get to the basement you have to go outside and open a big door-I can't remember what it is called, but all the old homes around here have them. Then you go down the steps and you are in the basement.
My dog tripped me when I was down there (it's an unfinished basement, so just an oil tank and furnace) and I hit the front of my head-the right side of my forehead. It's been 2 years, and I still have long and short term memory problems, balance and dizziness, concentration, and have a hard time getting stuff out of my brain. I can know exactly what I want to say, but can't get it to go from my brain to my mouth. The same thing happens when I am typing-I know what I want to type, but can't always make my fingers type the right letters-sometime letters and numbers are reversed like in dyslexia, other times random letters are typed. It takes me forever to type something.
Here is my problem. I read so many posts about those who have such serious brain injuries, who have REAL problems, compared to my simple problems, and I feel so guilty for complaining. At times, I think that I'm being a hypochondirac, that these are really just normal things everyone faces. Even though my doctors assure me that I am dealing with a brain injury, I still feel guilty bringing up any problems I have-like balance, for example. I have ocular vertigo, where movement of my eyes causes the vertigo, rather than the ears, which is usually the case. But when I read of others with TBI's, this problem of mine is so minor.
Besides me feeling this way, I know others also feel that I am making up the problems I have, because I don't look like anything is wrong, and they assume that the memory, balance, cognative etc. problems are just due to my age (61). So then I guess I start feeling that they are right.
Has anyone else felt like this? I know I have a mild TBI/post concussion syndrome, but feel like it's wrong for me to complain about my problems when there are so many who are so, so worse off than I am. I guess maybe I'm trying to deny that I really have something wrong? and those who say that a concussion is nothing and I shouldn't complain. And since it's been 2 years, there should be nothing wrong since it was just a concussion. Sorry this got so long-I just get confused sometimes.
Kathy
My dog tripped me when I was down there (it's an unfinished basement, so just an oil tank and furnace) and I hit the front of my head-the right side of my forehead. It's been 2 years, and I still have long and short term memory problems, balance and dizziness, concentration, and have a hard time getting stuff out of my brain. I can know exactly what I want to say, but can't get it to go from my brain to my mouth. The same thing happens when I am typing-I know what I want to type, but can't always make my fingers type the right letters-sometime letters and numbers are reversed like in dyslexia, other times random letters are typed. It takes me forever to type something.
Here is my problem. I read so many posts about those who have such serious brain injuries, who have REAL problems, compared to my simple problems, and I feel so guilty for complaining. At times, I think that I'm being a hypochondirac, that these are really just normal things everyone faces. Even though my doctors assure me that I am dealing with a brain injury, I still feel guilty bringing up any problems I have-like balance, for example. I have ocular vertigo, where movement of my eyes causes the vertigo, rather than the ears, which is usually the case. But when I read of others with TBI's, this problem of mine is so minor.
Besides me feeling this way, I know others also feel that I am making up the problems I have, because I don't look like anything is wrong, and they assume that the memory, balance, cognative etc. problems are just due to my age (61). So then I guess I start feeling that they are right.
Has anyone else felt like this? I know I have a mild TBI/post concussion syndrome, but feel like it's wrong for me to complain about my problems when there are so many who are so, so worse off than I am. I guess maybe I'm trying to deny that I really have something wrong? and those who say that a concussion is nothing and I shouldn't complain. And since it's been 2 years, there should be nothing wrong since it was just a concussion. Sorry this got so long-I just get confused sometimes.
Kathy
Don't feel bad about asking for help. That's what this group is for. No matter how severe or how mild. I too wonder if I have a right to complain after reading other stories. However, when I found this group...I fit the mold to a T. I still have times when...things just don't work right and I'm almost 3 years into recovery.
Like Nathogan recommends talk to your doctors about it. Keep in touch with them.
A little trick that helps me when I can't make my mouth say what I want to say...I laugh at myself...it releases the stress (and it does become stressful fast) I usually use some smart comment like...whoops.. brain fart, short circuit...who am I. Some people here may think I'm wrong but...if I make fun of it I can usually relax enough to get it out. Case closed it works for me.
Rest often if you seem to tire often. That's when the brain heals...when not in demand of use. Avoid stress as much as you can!
As far as the Virtigo goes...not sure what to tell you to try. Pehaps some others will.
Don't give up and don't stop asking for help...who is going to look out for you...if not you???
Take care!
I also lost my job exactly1 year before my TBI, so am about to have my home auctioned off because I haven't been able to pay my property taxes. I applied for SSD, got denied the first time, and am now waiting to get a hearing date-you know how long that can take, right? But living on my own with no income just makes me start feeling sorry for myself, and that's not the usual me. So when I see those worse off than me, it makes me feel not so sorry for my self, while I pray for those worse off to be able to overcome their injuries. I don't know if anyone will understand what I am saying-it probably doesn't make sense. On the other hand, maybe those with this injury would be the only ones who could actually understand me.
I have been visiting this site every day since I got hurt 2 years ago, but I'm glad I have joined it and was so kindly welcomed. Thank you for allowing me to vent, because the only one I can vent to is my wonderful lab-mix Maia. So as long as all of you can stand me, I look forward to getting to know you and gain some insight into this crazy injury. God Bless.
Kathy
Hope you can get some help & treatment..
Good Luck & Best Wishes...
I have felt exactly like you felt. I went to an in-person women's support group for TBI, and I basically said the same thing you did:
"I feel guilty for feeling bad about my situation because I "just" have a mild TBI."
The whole group laughed - not AT me meanly, but rather, with understanding.
They explained to me that there is NOTHING mild about a TBI. It's a SEVERE injury, and then within that injury there are levels.
I can tell you, that for myself, my head injury is pretty severe. I have dealt with hellish pain. But, the brain injury part of my injury, relatively speaking is not as bad. I have vision damage, ear damage and the usual mix of brain issues.
But I can talk pretty much very articulately - if I'm not having any pain you wouldn't be able to tell there is anything wrong with me.
I can tell you that I was essentially putting myself down when I would say to myself "Oh other people are worse off." I would then get even more depressed, because not only was I in pain and injured, but then I felt guilty for feeling sorrow about my injuries.
An injury sucks. All injuries are individual and no 2 injuries are alike.
And as far as people not understanding? Thinking your making it up or blaming it on something else like your age. . . That i so hard, but the biggest part of the reality. They do not understand. And you cannot make them understand. You are not alone. WE understand.