Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group
Support for those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought...
For as long as I can remember. I have always felt so lonley. Its not that I have never had friendships or relationships cause I have, its the connection that Ive longed to have but is never there, or is there one moment and then suddenly is not. There are moments and phases where I may feel that connection..but then something will happen where I again feel so disconnected to them and so alone. Ive always struggled with feeling so misunderstood and have longed for someone to connect with me on a deeper level and then sometimes I feel like that level doesnt exist and that I am searching for something that will never exist/doesn't exist. Wondering if what I once felt with a person at one point was all in my head. In dating relationships I sometimes feel so close..almost like a connection Ive never had before ..like the connection I have been looking for..but then its gone and I dont feel it anymore and once again I feel left in my own thoughts/feelings and Im left staring at the person who I once felt connected to wondering where it all went. The thing is...that disconnection can go so suddenly...and I have no idea how or why and I feel like I may be the only one who feels it. Does anyone else feel this way? This strong connection with someone that suddenly disappears? A back and forth..connection, like a switch that you didn't flick but are left with the feelngs/emotions and emptiness?
I've felt left out and still do a lot of the time but no one is really shutting me out of anything.
Like you I have friendships but the connection on deeper level is extremely rare if not extinct.
Now when I think about it I do recognize the coming and going of connection. I feel really close to someone and then it sort of subsides. Mostly.
Sorry for long rambly response but I'm so...relieved? I'm not alone feeling like this, not that I'd wish this issue on anyone.