My name is Tanya. I'm 30, and I've been diagnosed with BPD when I was 19. I'd like to think that I know quite a bit about this disorder at this point, both through personal experience and research. I've also studied psychopathology and personality disorders for a number of years as part of my psychology major at university. But I've definitely gained most of my knowledge through self-awareness of my own  (rather intense :P) emotions and behaviors. Many of my symptoms and behaviors were much more intense and erratic in my early 20s, when I didn't understand as much about why I was the way I was, than they are currently. However, there are still certain symptoms (such as impulsivity, fear of separation/abandonment, and intense emotions) that I still struggle with daily. And I would say that fear of abandonment is still number one on that list, which manifests itself in many different ways. I do try to take control over my actions, however, despite how I feel. In other words, I try not to act on impulse when I know my emotions are controlling my behavior. Every Borderline knows that when our behavior is influenced by our emotions, and we end up acting accordingly to what we feel at the time, we usually end up regretting it. So I would say that the most important thing I've learned in the past decade that I've struggled with this disease, is to take a breather, and wait until those intense emotions pass before I act on them, regret what I've done, and then feel guilty and afraid after the fact.