I had a rough childhood and there were a lot of girl cliques at my school. i had brothers so sometimes it seemed a bit easier to get along with the boys. Sometimes I have negative feelings about other women because I have perceptions that attractive women can be mean or think they are better than me. I am trying hard to give others a chance and move past those perceptions. I also have some issues with my mother, who can be a bit smothering.

three years ago, i began having serious thyroid problems. I was really out of whack physically and hormonally. I began to feel more intensely attracted to women and it made me uncomfortable. I think I used to be a bit more attracted to men, but now it's at least a tie.

I also probably have gender issues as well. I don't want to get surgery like Chaz Bono, but sometimes I fantasize about body swapping with a man for a while and having a penis. I guess with my vascular issues with my legs and goofy childish voice, I associate being a woman with a lot of humiliating experiences and it seems like life is easier for men.

at the same time, I love my husband and am very attracted to men as well. I wish I could find a woman to date though, but I don't know if I'm ready for that....