Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
So I'm posting this in hopes of getting a response to shed a little light on my situation. (I will post a journal entry as well soon with details). The bottom line is, I'm not sure if I'm BI. When I say that, I mean if I'm actually even attracted to men. I just got out of a horrible year long relationship with a guy who used to completely disrespect me in every aspect. I hated having sex with him, and would make myself do it every day. While at first I was in love with him emotionally, the physical part of the relationship made me cringe. I've always known I was "different" growing up. Especially the numerous times when I caught with another girl and told it was "wrong". My first experience was at christain camp, then twice more in high school. I've had boyfriends, but I can never really find myself opening up to them like I feel I can with another woman. From afar though, I admire men but I find it difficult to be around them. I've never actually had a girlfriend, and up till recently didn't come to terms with myself that I might be bisexual, regardless of my history and I used to just blow that aspect of myself off. I've also been sexually abused growing up, and I wonder if that may have something to do with it. The other problem is that I'm in the service, and I have to keep my sexual orientation concealed. The three girls I had experiences with were all straight and it kinda happened "on accident" per say. So I don't even REALLY know to approach another girl let alone sleep with her. So I guess the question is, where am I on the scale?
deleted_user
Sounds to me like you're at least bi! But to really know you have to meditate, soul-search, and finally gain some experience. As far as approaching women, not sure. I'm assuming it's the same as men--but dating sites are always great once you're ready. Met my husband there and I know there are ones for gays specifically. Its a good way to weed out people who aren't compatible quickly. Anyway, if you've always been this way then chances are you already know the answer to this question. Hang in there!
Miek0
@Humunculus--Thanks for the advice. Yes, I know that I'm at least BI but I was worried if I was leaning more towards being a lesbian. I would try dating sites but I'd be too afraid to have someone in the military spot me (it's a small world, trust me). I guess figuring yourself out just comes with time and experience, like you said. Hopefully it won't be a difficult journey! :-)
deleted_user
Who says you have to put yourself in a box? I have found in my experience (and do what you will with that) that keeping an open mind is the best thing to do, describing yourself as gay or bi or whatever limits the people you can have relationships with. Honestly, no one can say if you are bi or gay on a scale. Human sexuality is a fluid thing that is likely to change, just go with it. It is rare enough that you find someone who you "click" with as it is. And sorry to say, but it sounds like you have a lot of soul-searching ahead. Good luck.
Miek0
@S73V3 -- It seems you have a problem with labels and that's fine. I'm not really looking for one in particular, and by no means am I a close minded person. It really has more to do with being a little confused about my sexual orientation, that's all. Thats kinda why I'm on this "support" site in the first place. And yes, I have much soul searching to do, I know this. I'm hoping I can get the support I need through the process. My sexual orientation is a very small part of what I have to deal with regarding being comfortable with myself. I have a past to confront yet, and a future to live through happily. In any case, I appreciate your advice and will put it in my tool box. :-)
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