I think you did the right thing breaking up with her, as you said cheating is not good. The fact you are willing to listen to her, and make her feel better at the expense of your own happiness, shows just how wonderful you are. I would love to find a guy like you. But, you are also right, you HAVE to explore the "gay side" of your life. I lived as a gay man for about seven years, then I met a wonderful woman that I fell in love with, and married, that was seventeen years ago. I love her more than ever, she can comfort me more than anyone else in the world, but recently my need to have a man in my life has increased to an unbelievable level, so I'm torn between the love of my life, the one person I'm supposed to be with, and my need for a man. If I had known seventeen years ago I was going to hurt this bad, I don't think I would have gotten married, so I really think you are doing the smartest thing.

I understand that she has no one else to talk to, but expecting you to listen to her talk about how bad you hurt her is not fair to you. You need to tell her that if that is what she needs to talk about then she needs to find someone else. That you'll be glad to talk to her about anything else, just not your relationship, for your sake you have to do this. I know that you feel it's your fault, and so you need to help her as much as you can, but your just hurting yourself, and that's not right. You deserve your happiness also, that's the whole reason you broke up with her. If you continue to hurt yourself by listening to her, the whole breakup was in vain, and instead of you hurting, both of you are hurting.

If you really want to help her, and still be happy yourself, you can help her find someone else to talk to, you might have to find an online support group, or an 800 number for her to call, and you need to find a support group yourself even if it's online, a quick Google for "bisexual men support group", should give you plenty of good leads.

You are facing some of the toughest times you'll ever have to deal with. Especially since you are also dealing with her pain also. But, don't give up, things will get better if you hang in there. Eventually you'll both get over the breakup, and probably remain friends. You may f ind a great man that you spend the rest of your life with, or you might end up going back to her, that can't be known now. But if you don't explore the gay side of yourself, you'll wonder the rest of your life, and will not be able to have a good relationship with any girl because of it. At the same time you can't let your feelings for her ruin your chance at happiness with a man. Good luck

I am sorry you are going through so much. I know what you are going through. I myself is married but struggling badly. Right now this think the only solution is to find another man that is willing to have s secret relationship and live that way. I just don't see another way. I thought about just being gay but it is not me. I don't feel that way. I wish I did. I am so confused, hurt, lost and angry. I have been this way for my entire life. What do we Bisexuals do? I just don't know. It has been a curse. I just don't see myself ever being happy or at peace. I am a Christian man also. I must continue to pray and guidance.

I'm sorry ur having such a rough time right now :-(

I think you've done the right thing though. Things would have just gotten really messy if you stayed in ur relationship with her, knowing that you need to explore being with men. You would have started to resent her.

You can still always be there for each other as friends. It might take a bit to adjust to just being friends.

Doing the right thing always seems to be the hardest. You're doing what's right for you right now, and that's healthy.

Take care.