Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
Hi everyone, I am a 41y/o bi man, I have been happily married to an older woman for 17 years. I have two grown stepchildren that still live with us, and we have adopted a 7y/o. Before we started officially dating, I sat down with my wife and told her everything about my past. Due to being majorly depressed I was rather wild for several years.
I have been disabled for 11 years now due to several health problems, starting with a broke back. About 5 years ago it became impossible for me to have sex. I have some permanent nerve damage from my back being broke and the herniated disk that goes with it. Still wanting to be intimate with my wife, we went and bought several toys that allowed us to continue to be intimate.
The problem starts back in the beginning of the relationship. My wife was ok with my past and me being bi, however at that time she was very insecure. For several years she was extremely jealous of any man in my life, even the guys that I worked with, and I only saw them at work. But, she was afraid that I would decide that I wanted a man more than I wanted her. She was never jealous over other women, just men. She finally got over that and felt secure in the relationship. Until I developed the ED, she had a hard time accepting that it was a physical problem and not that I was thinking about men. We had a very difficult time right then, because she was convinced that I was either having an affair, or was about to, and would not listen to reason.
I finally managed to get some information from the doctor, or off the internet, I don't remember, but it explained how the nerves that go through the part of my back that has the problem, control the sexual organs. If those nerves are compromise in any way, then you have permanent ED that the blue pill won't cure. So she is ok now.
Now in the last few years, I have really been thinking about all of this, and I am fighting my depression every day because of my disability. I feel useless, I feel that my manhood has been ripped away from me. I have always been a very in dependant person, but I have had to learn how to depend on other people to meet my basic needs. There for a while it was so bad that I could not walk, I was either in a wheelchair, or one of the boys had to pick me up and carry me. Do you know how humiliating it is to have your son put you on, and take you off the toilet?
I decided that it just was not fair to my wife, just because I could not have sex shouldn't mean she can't. So I told her if she wanted to get some on the side that was ok with me. I have been in a couple of polyamours relationships before so I have no problem with an open marriage. She did for a little while until he started being an ass, so she broke it off.
Because of my depression, and having my manhood taken away (the ED), I have also been thinking seriously about trying to find a man. The thing is I don't really need to have sex with him, I just need a man to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok, that he is going to protect me, and take care of me, and just cuddle with me. Although I would not turn down a sexual encounter, but it is not my main desire.
I have really been thinking about trying to find another bi man, that wants to be in a polyamours relationship. I would really love to add that third person to our marriage. I have talked to my wife years ago about doing three-ways with another bi man, mainly for her pleasure, at that time I had more or less convinced her to give it a try. I want to bring it back up to her, but I'm afraid of what her reaction would be. I explained to her a couple of years ago, when I told her to find someone the side, that I was needing the emotional support from a man, and it upset her some. .That goes back to her insecurities, I know that I would have no problem with a poly relationship, it always felt natural to me to have that kind of relationship. But, I don't know how she would handle it, once it finally happened. I think she would be ok with it while we were talking about it, but when it came down to the three of us being in bed together, and there was any interaction between me and him, I don't think she would be able to handle it.
I know this is long, and if your still reading it I want to say thank you. There is just so much stuff going on in my head that I get so confused and frustrated. I just want to say that I do not get offended, I don't get my feelings hurt, and I don't get mad at someone trying to help me. So say whatever you think you need to say.
I have been disabled for 11 years now due to several health problems, starting with a broke back. About 5 years ago it became impossible for me to have sex. I have some permanent nerve damage from my back being broke and the herniated disk that goes with it. Still wanting to be intimate with my wife, we went and bought several toys that allowed us to continue to be intimate.
The problem starts back in the beginning of the relationship. My wife was ok with my past and me being bi, however at that time she was very insecure. For several years she was extremely jealous of any man in my life, even the guys that I worked with, and I only saw them at work. But, she was afraid that I would decide that I wanted a man more than I wanted her. She was never jealous over other women, just men. She finally got over that and felt secure in the relationship. Until I developed the ED, she had a hard time accepting that it was a physical problem and not that I was thinking about men. We had a very difficult time right then, because she was convinced that I was either having an affair, or was about to, and would not listen to reason.
I finally managed to get some information from the doctor, or off the internet, I don't remember, but it explained how the nerves that go through the part of my back that has the problem, control the sexual organs. If those nerves are compromise in any way, then you have permanent ED that the blue pill won't cure. So she is ok now.
Now in the last few years, I have really been thinking about all of this, and I am fighting my depression every day because of my disability. I feel useless, I feel that my manhood has been ripped away from me. I have always been a very in dependant person, but I have had to learn how to depend on other people to meet my basic needs. There for a while it was so bad that I could not walk, I was either in a wheelchair, or one of the boys had to pick me up and carry me. Do you know how humiliating it is to have your son put you on, and take you off the toilet?
I decided that it just was not fair to my wife, just because I could not have sex shouldn't mean she can't. So I told her if she wanted to get some on the side that was ok with me. I have been in a couple of polyamours relationships before so I have no problem with an open marriage. She did for a little while until he started being an ass, so she broke it off.
Because of my depression, and having my manhood taken away (the ED), I have also been thinking seriously about trying to find a man. The thing is I don't really need to have sex with him, I just need a man to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok, that he is going to protect me, and take care of me, and just cuddle with me. Although I would not turn down a sexual encounter, but it is not my main desire.
I have really been thinking about trying to find another bi man, that wants to be in a polyamours relationship. I would really love to add that third person to our marriage. I have talked to my wife years ago about doing three-ways with another bi man, mainly for her pleasure, at that time I had more or less convinced her to give it a try. I want to bring it back up to her, but I'm afraid of what her reaction would be. I explained to her a couple of years ago, when I told her to find someone the side, that I was needing the emotional support from a man, and it upset her some. .That goes back to her insecurities, I know that I would have no problem with a poly relationship, it always felt natural to me to have that kind of relationship. But, I don't know how she would handle it, once it finally happened. I think she would be ok with it while we were talking about it, but when it came down to the three of us being in bed together, and there was any interaction between me and him, I don't think she would be able to handle it.
I know this is long, and if your still reading it I want to say thank you. There is just so much stuff going on in my head that I get so confused and frustrated. I just want to say that I do not get offended, I don't get my feelings hurt, and I don't get mad at someone trying to help me. So say whatever you think you need to say.
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