Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
I Was very serious as a kid, but i was also into sport, and i was good at school. This made me somewhat popular but due to my shyness and being serious I was known and acknowledged, but did not have any friend
I was always attracted to women but i was curious about other men from a young agenot in romanitc way, just in a way that i wondered about their phalaus
fast forward to university and i started watching trans porn and felt guilty. and I would make up for it bu watching more staright porn.
i also had many contacts online where i tried to meet a gay guy. I did this a few times, it was very stressful, it seems everyone online is very selfish and rude and racist.
I also reached out to women who have gay and bi and cross dresser men to play with, but they didnt want to meet me. I did meet with 1 couple after months of messages and emails, but i didnt enjoy it as i was too young to realise they wanted to exhaust me mentally first, and also they made me work harder because they didnt trust me due to my race,, So even if i tried to experiment i couldnt do this. and even if i tried to meet women this was also hard. I faced blunt racism and it seems that i live in a white world and I am an outcast.
now i am in my 30s and i am looking for a woman, but i dont mind if she wants me to be bi.
its so hard to talk to anyone, to go any where. or do anything. I am just a human who is rejected by everything and everyone.
no friendship, no social life. i feel that people are programmed to think a certain way and the media is controlling everyone.
i am tall good body due to being good at sport when i was younger,, but i havent been to the gym for over 11 yrs but i seek a proper friendship and now I am less likeley to take risks in meeting people from online or less likeley to meet anyone due to low energy levels and depression, or to repeat feelinvgs from my past.
Firstly,I'm sorry to hear that people are wrong to you due to your race. Personally I think it's ludicrous to do so in this day and age but we can not change bigots.However their small minds can not fully break you. There are always going to be people that will try to put you down for want ever reason but they cannot truly clip your wings as one might say.Secondly there's nothing wrong with being bisexual nor not wanting to be.Not matter if you are or not there's no need to feel guilty for exploring it .However you must be comfortable with this,as your feeling are very important as in the end yourself if the one thing your stuck with.I understand your view on how people think but actually there are a lot of like minded people,they just like to hide more.
Therefore i think you need to focus firstly on building yourself back up,before looking to lead on another person.As you suggested you wouldn't mind if the woman you met wanted you to be bi , worry this may not be something you really want yourself. And it's important that you do not do things just because someone else wants you too,because that's not fair on you at all .
This is fairly brief but i'd be willing to talk to you again, should you wish it, either way i wish you the wish never the less.