Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
I feel the need to have an important talk with my fiance. For the last week or two my thoughts have been on whether or not I should talk to my fiance about opening our relationship so that I can further explore my sexuality.
He knows that I'm bisexual because I had just began dating women when he and I met. It was the first time I had allowed myself the freedom to date whomever I wanted and didn't worry about what anyone else thought. This may not seem like a big deal for some of you but you need some background story to understand exactly where I come from. I grew up in a very small and narrow-minded rural community (K-12 grade school) with Lesbian parents. I suffered many traumas due to that fact. Before I even understood what sexuality was or had a chance to explore my own, I was being called a lesbian, bullied, and ostracized. This trauma has held me back from exploring my sexuality for most of my life. The year I met my fiance was the first time I had truly embraced my whole self and sexuality, instead of repressing or running from it.
Lately, I can't ignore my attraction to women and the need I feel to explore this further. I love my fiance dearly and I don't want to ruin our relationship, however, I've been dealing with depression and I feel the repression has a part to play in it.
We began in an open relationship, however, I'm worried that this is not what he wants long-term and that it will ruin our relationship. I'm also worried that by opening things up for me to explore that he will want the same treatment...I'm not sure if I'm ok with this. Partly due to trust issues from past lovers' affairs but I also fear he will meet someone better and leave me. Also, it was very difficult for me to meet women and I rarely got more than a few dates with each partner. It was a frustrating experience and I feel like I'm a teenager experience-wise when it comes to dating women. I worry he will quickly find another and I'll be once again pining for attention on all fronts. I know I need to communicate with him about this but I'm so confused and torn.
He knows that I'm bisexual because I had just began dating women when he and I met. It was the first time I had allowed myself the freedom to date whomever I wanted and didn't worry about what anyone else thought. This may not seem like a big deal for some of you but you need some background story to understand exactly where I come from. I grew up in a very small and narrow-minded rural community (K-12 grade school) with Lesbian parents. I suffered many traumas due to that fact. Before I even understood what sexuality was or had a chance to explore my own, I was being called a lesbian, bullied, and ostracized. This trauma has held me back from exploring my sexuality for most of my life. The year I met my fiance was the first time I had truly embraced my whole self and sexuality, instead of repressing or running from it.
Lately, I can't ignore my attraction to women and the need I feel to explore this further. I love my fiance dearly and I don't want to ruin our relationship, however, I've been dealing with depression and I feel the repression has a part to play in it.
We began in an open relationship, however, I'm worried that this is not what he wants long-term and that it will ruin our relationship. I'm also worried that by opening things up for me to explore that he will want the same treatment...I'm not sure if I'm ok with this. Partly due to trust issues from past lovers' affairs but I also fear he will meet someone better and leave me. Also, it was very difficult for me to meet women and I rarely got more than a few dates with each partner. It was a frustrating experience and I feel like I'm a teenager experience-wise when it comes to dating women. I worry he will quickly find another and I'll be once again pining for attention on all fronts. I know I need to communicate with him about this but I'm so confused and torn.
JacobT
First of all, you are to be valued for your bravery, strength under all that difficulty from your upbringing. If you feel compelled to tell your husband about your attraction to women, you should sit him down and gently explain what you're experiencing. The fact you began in an open relationship, he should be ok with this, as long as you still want to be with him too. Try to lighten up about all this and not get too uptight. You'll be more attractive to women and happy overall. Best of luck to you, but yes, have a heart to heart talk with him and move on.
ninjapixie
Thank you for the support and advice, Jacob. I began the conversation but much more work and communication needs to happen before we both feel comfortable opening our relationship.
scandalousbeauty
Hello. I admire you for being so open and honest with yourself. You are very courageous. If it is a open relationship then both of you should be able to to explore sexually but set guidelines to what can happen or I would suggest maybe taking a break to figure yourself out and dating women to see if maybe a relationship with a woman is what you want. I know you love your fiance and he knew that you were interested in women going into this. Maybe threesomes with another woman could be something that could benefit both of you. You said that you are depressed and feeling repressed again. Embrace yourself and do what makes you happy darling. I know this is a difficult situation to be in. You don't want to wreck your relationship with your man but you need what you need. There are so many options in your position darling. I would talk to your fiance about how you are feeling. Big hugs and best wishes.
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