I just want you to know that you're not alone. I made this account because I read your post and it brought tears to my eyes. We're around the same age, guessing by the 92 on your username, and I am going through something very similar. I'm married, in a heterosexual monogamous marriage, I have two kids and I came out to my husband that I was bisexual. It took a lot. I was ashamed for the longest time. But I know I like men and I like women. I don't feel safe or comfortable talking about it with friends or family. We're actually in a new city where I don't have any close by. I have so much respect for you telling your mom. I have not had the courage to do that just yet. My husband is supportive and I am so thankful for it. But I have struggled with this for a while. Just know that your mom might be in shock, but she will come around. Some people need more time. I'm PROUD of you. I don't know you, but I AM PROUD OF YOU. My husband told me that and you know what, I like telling that to people too. It's going to be okay :)

-A

BmbShllWife, thank you so much for your beautiful reply! It means a lot to know that there is someone out there who understands and relates. 92 is my birth year, so we are the same age. :-)

We have more in common than you realized...I have been dating a wonderful man for four years and the topic of engagement is coming up more and more. I just came out to my boyfriend and thank God he was supportive-just like your husband. My boyfriend wants me to feel permission to be myself and explore a bit, but I also know that deep down it hurts him because he feels like this means he isn't "enough" for me. While our sex life could be better, this is NOT about that! It's about me acknowledging another part of me that is ALSO ME. It's like saying, "I like oranges, but damn it I finally realized I ALSO like apples!" That doesn't mean oranges were so bad I needed to try something else, it just means I like both fruits... It makes me feel guilty and selfish for needing to acknowledge this other part of me though. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend or damage our great relationship. I'm not sure if I will explore my bisexuality or to what extent, but I at least feel somewhat relieved to admit who I am. What do you do with this part of yourself?

Thank you, A, I am proud of you too and so very thankful for your reply.

Love and light,
T

Firecracker92 you're welcome for the reply. I was drawn to your post and happy that you replied back to mine as well! I'm 2 years older than you, but I still like to consider myself in the same age range :) lol.

I completely understand how you're feeling, especially when you used the fruit example lol. I'm finally acknowledging the other part of me. I have felt ashamed for so long, like a disappointment to my family and such. But like you said, we like BOTH fruits, not that our long time orange was getting rotten, just that apples are great too!

Have you guys considered a safe way to 'explore' that other part of you? Maybe integrate FFM or FF porn as foreplay or something? We started doing that and it has been pretty fun to be honest!
I also worried about hurting our marriage and such, but he's been supportive and we both seem to enjoy the FFM and FF porn together, so that has worked for us in the bedroom!
Although, to be honest, after watching it I did feel dirty, like it was wrong, and we shouldn't feel that way. We shouldn't have to conform to some conservative culture and judge who we really are on the inside. If it's what makes us happy, it's fine and so be it. As long as you and your partner are on the same level and are open about your feelings you guys will be okay! I promise you will not damage your relationship, it will make it even stronger!

I also leave it open for my husband to ask me questions. I am still in a confusing part of my coming out where I'm not sure how I feel about everything, but if I do have a feeling on something or attraction to a feature of someone, I let him know. It has definitely kept it interesting.

If not that suggestion, I have been looking into books and such, have you guys thought or have you looked into any books about bisexuality to help out as well? It may offer insight to how you are feeling and how he is feeling too.

Anyways, I hope this helps!
So happy to hear back from you and hope we can continue this journey as pen pals, since it seems that we are in a pretty similar boat!

Talk to you soon

-A

Hey, I'm a 20 year old bi guy and I can say I understand how you're feeling. I've also been struggling to know who is safe to talk to. My parents won't hear any of it and they don't even believe I'm really bi. I guess they just don't want to believe it. Anyway, if you ever want to talk I'm here.

- April1721

BmbshllWife,
Thanks, that's a great "safe" and exciting suggestion! That would probably get my imagination running, which we know is powerful.
Yes, I'd love to continue writing as pen pals. We shouldn't have to navigate this alone. :-)

April1721, thanks so much for replying. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me-it's always nice to know we're not alone. I understand too-I felt like my mom couldn't believe it was true/felt I was overexaggerating my attraction to the same sex. Ugh haha.
Please feel free to reach out and chat with me as well. Seriously. :-)

Love and light,
T