I felt sure someone else would have answered by now.

What you describe is the same exact thing that probably 75% or more of gay/bi people go through. It is completely normal to feel the way you do. You may be closer to gay than bi, but only you can decide that. But I think you have probably realized the most important part, that is realizing that your feelings for the same sex, is more than just a passing phase, it's who you are. Maybe your bisexual, maybe your gay, only you can decide that, but your ahead of so many other people right now.

Find a lesbian organization, or maybe make friends with that girl at school/work that everybody is pointing at and calling a dyke. Meet some other girls, find out just how strong your feelings for girls is.

Hello, I was so much like you. When I was younger, I would go with my friends to a nightclub and as soon as we got there, my buddies would act like, what I thought back then, like children looking at women and talking about their butts or chest or how pretty they where and how they wanted to be with them. I thought that most of the time they were just saying these things to like more macho. I always hated it. It was not until I went to a gay bar for the first time. It was such an awakening for me. It felt like I finally found myself. It felt so natural to me. To be with many men and being free to look at them sexually was just awesome. I remember looking at the men in the bar and admiring their looks, butt and even crouch and feeling no shame. What I also found out about myself is how easy it was for me to talk to a male person with easy comparing to talking with a female which was always very difficult for me and it was something I had to work hard on. I didn't realize why it was so difficult until I had my first experience in a gay bar. That night I did end up having sex with a man for the first time. It was just incredible. I truly experienced for the first time what my buddies were always taking about in sex. I realize who I am now. But sadly it is not what I have to be. I am now married with kids and have to be a straight person. It is a huge struggle everyday for me. I now I will never be as happy I can be if I had a gay/Bi relationship. I figure we all have issues that we have to deal with. This is mine.

Wow thank you two. I feel better about my situation. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has issues with confusion and such. Hopefully as I get older I'll find more clarity.

I hear you. I've dated guys and been in one "serious" relationship with a guy for 6 years. We are no longer together. I don't think I was depressed long enough honestly when we broke up. It was more of a relief. I was stressed when we were together. The relationship died already a year or months before we broke up. So maybe that's why I wasn't long depressed. He knew I was bisexual. When I became single I would see some women, but nothing serious. Then spring/summer I began seeing a female for about 4 months. Se really got to me as in I was developing feelings for her. The passion, connection, and chemistry was definitely there. I wasn't sure what we were, but I definitely wanted more. She said she cared about me, but it was hard for her to open up to me. I wished she did. She did tell me she doesn't want to date me. I told her I thought we had something good together, but I told her I understood. I wouldn't want to force something she doesn't want.(or maybe she was lying to me because it's hard for her to put her wall down). She then began to see me less. Text me less. It just started to fade away, but I still was focused on her. I thought about her. I still do sometimes. I think because she was the first woman I felt for and enjoyed her company. I don't regret this experience, but I'm glad it happened because I learned from it. Maybe I should do a blog on this with more details lol, but I hope this helps somehow.