Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
I am a 46 year old bisexual man. Never found a significant other, though truly have wanted to. Never into 1 night stands. Part due to the risk of STDs and part the club type scenes not my thing. I am not a drinker or church goer. I am fine if people drink (please responsibly), just not my thing. Don't watch sports like basketball, baseball, football, etc. I walk, hike, bicycle, travel. Interests include history, science, art, theater, current events, etc. I mention these because being an out bisexual man who would want a relationship (likely a monogamous one), dating has virtually disappeared. And I would want a good, genuine relationship with real connection. I am too out to keep my sexuality quiet for any length of time, plus I don't want to hide it. If I was straight or gay, dating would still be hard since I am not mainstream. Being bisexual is the coup de gras so to speak in killing a dating life. I have acquaintances but not many close friends (and they are busy with significant others and their lives so that I do things alone).
And sex, well embarrassing to say, but I don't have sex with anyone. (dates are extremely rare and never go anywhere). So I use my imagination/ masterbation to try to give myself sexual/ romantic gratification.
I am trying to make peace with the strong likelihood that I will never have a significant other.
It is tough though. The loneliness. Feeling like I am missing out not having sex with a partner. The lack of emotional/romantic connection to others. I wonder how others deal with it. How others find peace or happiness so alone.
And sex, well embarrassing to say, but I don't have sex with anyone. (dates are extremely rare and never go anywhere). So I use my imagination/ masterbation to try to give myself sexual/ romantic gratification.
I am trying to make peace with the strong likelihood that I will never have a significant other.
It is tough though. The loneliness. Feeling like I am missing out not having sex with a partner. The lack of emotional/romantic connection to others. I wonder how others deal with it. How others find peace or happiness so alone.
I have social anxiety so there are a lot of times when I cannot even think about going to parties for the very few friends that I have. I am not into hooking up with strangers from Craigslist for "dates" when we both know the ultimate objective is sex and one night stands, regardless what the person claims they are looking for. Sometimes the best way to find love is to let it find you in the right place at the right time with the right person. It may sound simple but I sure as hell know that it's not.
It's been said that whether you can or whether you can't, you're right. A lot of the fears, feelings and frustrations that you have all stem from your statement, "likelihood that I will never have a significant other. " Is that a premonition? What facts are you relying on to make that likelihood? Again, the odds are the right partner knocking at your door are against you but if you can do more positive things to just be yourself without the fortune telling, it is amazing what you may find outside of your door. It will all start with new friendships. Ready for that???
Get your ass out of the house! (grin) ... There are so many places to meet people that you are oblivious to. It's not just you! It is all of the people in our shoes. I don't want to go to bars to hang out with a bunch of drunken men and/or women trying to seduce or be seduced. I am used to being the last kid picked in gym class so I know that I would end up scoring with the second to last. But the reality is that not everyone in that bar is looking for anything more than a social outing. Does that cast a new light on possibly seeing if there is someone out there drinking a virgin drink and just looking for friends? It may be worth looking into... you can grab a cup of coffee and just people watch. Or you can go hang out in a coffee shop or library or museum or supermarket or ???. Anywhere outside of your home is a GREAT place to meet people. Just put on a smile and be approachable for conversations.
Dating? Oh, yeah, that's the next step in taking a friendship to another level. It doesn't have to be a five star restaurant, movie, and evening nightcap by the fire. Whatever the common interest(s) can then dictate a second meeting. I've found myself furthering a friendship into relationship by being able to help my new friends move a piece of furniture or teach them how to do something on the computer or check out another museum or a walk at the zoo or whatever. There's no need to have any expectations of what a "date" has to mean if it's mutual. A date does not have to include sex. It can be a chance to share with another person.
That new friend may or may not be the right person for you... but they may know someone for you or you may know someone for them. That's often a good way to meet new friends is friends of friends. Surely straight people know gay people and gay people know straight people. Personally the only labels I like wearing as the ones on my designer clothes.
Consider checking out the library calendar of workshops. Think about seeing what's new at a local museum. Check out the 12 step program at emotionsanonymous dot org for local emotional support for loneliness and social anxiety. Think about taking a college course in something of interest. You seem to be an intellect. Isn't that the type of person you are looking for?
Baby steps!