Bisexuality Support Group
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women, and may even shift between states of finding either sex exclusively attractive over the course of time.
Hi,
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
About me: I'm 20 yo. About 2.5 yrs ago I came out to my closest friends in high school as lesbian. (Before that I had always gone with bi). I had struggled with my sexual identity for quite some time but finally decided that coming out to my friends would help me start to better accept myselfor who I was. And it did. In the next months I felt a lot better about myself and I was proud to call myself lesbian.
Then about a year later I got a job at a marketing company and instantly connected with a coworker who was a man. One week the company put a group of us up in a hotel while we were working out of town. During this week we were inseparable and at the end of the week he asked me out. I had been having suh an amazing time that I said yes without even thinking about it. Now we have been together for 1.5 yrs and we love each other a great deal. But every once in a while I wonder what would have happened if I were to have said no and continued on my search to find a woman instead. I am still very much attracted to women. And I sometimes feel that I didn't get the chance to explore that opportunity enough.
Anyways, the point is that when I watch porn I usually watch lesbian porn. But recently when I do, I burst into tears and I can't explain why. If the two women are going at it hardcore or using toys I get super turned on. But in the more sensual scenes that feel very intimate, that's when I begin to cry. For example, light kissing, caressing, seductive foreplay that isn't too rough. I don't know what happens but in these intimate moments I find that I picture myself as one of the girls in the video, I close my eyes, I can feel the intimacy and I get butterflies in my stomach. And I almost feel happy like that is the best moment you could hope to be a part of. But as soon as I open my eyes I start to sob! And I literally have no idea why!
Has anyone had a similar experience or any advice that they could share?
Any comments are much appreciated.
Thanks! :)
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
About me: I'm 20 yo. About 2.5 yrs ago I came out to my closest friends in high school as lesbian. (Before that I had always gone with bi). I had struggled with my sexual identity for quite some time but finally decided that coming out to my friends would help me start to better accept myselfor who I was. And it did. In the next months I felt a lot better about myself and I was proud to call myself lesbian.
Then about a year later I got a job at a marketing company and instantly connected with a coworker who was a man. One week the company put a group of us up in a hotel while we were working out of town. During this week we were inseparable and at the end of the week he asked me out. I had been having suh an amazing time that I said yes without even thinking about it. Now we have been together for 1.5 yrs and we love each other a great deal. But every once in a while I wonder what would have happened if I were to have said no and continued on my search to find a woman instead. I am still very much attracted to women. And I sometimes feel that I didn't get the chance to explore that opportunity enough.
Anyways, the point is that when I watch porn I usually watch lesbian porn. But recently when I do, I burst into tears and I can't explain why. If the two women are going at it hardcore or using toys I get super turned on. But in the more sensual scenes that feel very intimate, that's when I begin to cry. For example, light kissing, caressing, seductive foreplay that isn't too rough. I don't know what happens but in these intimate moments I find that I picture myself as one of the girls in the video, I close my eyes, I can feel the intimacy and I get butterflies in my stomach. And I almost feel happy like that is the best moment you could hope to be a part of. But as soon as I open my eyes I start to sob! And I literally have no idea why!
Has anyone had a similar experience or any advice that they could share?
Any comments are much appreciated.
Thanks! :)
I'm so sorry you're going through that, Katt. I was in a similar position as you on my prior relationship. I only watch lesbian porn, for the most part, and often think of being one of the women.. Females are beautiful.. I don't know how else to put it lol. It was an often thought, while being with anyone man.. And it's so difficult to decipher. I just pinned it to just because I'm with a man, doesn't mean women don't effect me.. I am bisexual, and have a higher-than-average sex drive.. It's just me, I guess..
I think that it's an interesting thought that if you had said no, where would you be in life.. I think everyone, at some point, thinks that. I also think that it could mean a lot of things, when you get emotional after watching passionate lesbians porn.. It could mean you're longing for that kind of passion within your own relationship, that you'd like to explore options, maybe...?
I truly wish I could help you more. If you ever need to talk, rant, or what-not please feel free to shoot me a message. (: