Hey guys, so I finally decided to join a support group, and after browsing through many posts, I am so glad I made this decision. I am an almost 21 year old female and I have just recently accepted that I am in fact bisexual, but I am still struggling with fully coming to terms with it. I always had crushes on boys when I was younger, my first crush being in kindergarten, and they were usually longterm crushes. When I was in 6th or 7th grade, there was a new girl in my grade, and I thought she was so pretty and was always drawn to looking at her. I wasn't sure what those feelings meant so I dismissed them and thought nothing about. I felt the same feelings toward a couple of other girls in middle school but they were very brief. In 8th grade, I started to feel sexually attracted to my bestfriend (specifically her breasts), and I would refrain from hugging her because I didn't want to feel those feelings. I was never in love with her or wanted to be with her, but I will now admit that there was some sexual attraction there. In high school, I was attracted to boys and talked to boys but was never in a relationship because I was awkward and most definitely a late bloomer, and I was attracted to a couple girls, but this time they were more masculine and not girly at all. I never pictured myself being in a relationship with them, but I definitely felt a weird feeling whenever I saw them. Those feelings were very brief once again, and during my senior year, I met my very first boyfriend. I felt a connection right from the start, and once we started dating, I was very sexually attracted to him and enjoyed doing sexual things with him and was never attracted to girls during our relationship. Our relationship only lasted a little over a year due to me being in college and doing long distance (he broke up with me). I have been single for over a year now, and I hooked up with one guy who I was very attracted to, but now, at the moment, I'm feeling like I'm mostly attracted to women. I'm not in the mood for a relationship right now, and I've realized I've been noticing women more than men lately. The thing is that I am not romantically attracted to women so it is very confusing. As of lately, I have been attracted to a masculine women who works at the gym I go to, and she has curves below her torso which I am not attracted to but her torso and up is muscular which attracts me and she just has a masculine stature which attracts me. I honestly wish I wasn't attracted to her, I wish I was just attracted to men which is why I can not cope with my bisexuality. I have never watched porn, even female porn, and have never felt drawn to do so. I could never see myself going down on another woman, which just makes me even more confused. I'm attracted to men but also masculine women, and it is just so weird to me. Also, no one knows that I am bisexual, and I feel like I need to tell people so I can fully be comfortable in my skin but none of my friends or family are LGBTQ so it is very hard. I'm pretty sure my dad is homophobic and I am very close with him (my mom doesn't play a huge role in my life), so it makes it even more difficult. For the past few weeks, I have been driving myself crazy questioning my sexuality to the point where it has made me depressed and unmotivated to do work. I hate that I am attracted to certain women, I wish I was just solely attracted to men but since that will never happen, I need to somehow come to terms with it. I feel like my sexuality is very fluid, so it makes it all the more difficult. I have never opened up to anyone about this, but I have been driving myself so crazy that I decided to vent in this group. Any insight would be great, thank you! :) <3