Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

Best of luck as you process things. Remember that all of this does NOT effect your value or worth negatively, even though it might feel like that to part of you that you have been trying to push under. I love what Elizabeth Kubler Ross had to say about suffering...
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Death: The Final Stage of Growth, 1975)
Consider this then. Not that I recommend people go inflicting suffering on themselves, but the experience will actually make you a more beautiful person according to EKR. I hope that becomes true for you. I hope you have a peaceful day.