This is a support group for people suffering from Bipolar disorder. There is another group for friends and family of people who suffer from bipolar disorder.

That being said....sometimes people with bipolar get paranoid and they truly do think that everyone is out to get them somehow. If he hasn't mentioned this to his psychiatrist, then he should. I'm not saying what you should or shouldn't do about him, but in my opinion, people need to be held accountable for their actions. I, personally, wouldn't accept regular nastiness b/c of a mental illness. Sometimes we screw up, but it shouldn't be a regularly occurring thing. We're still human, we still make mistakes....but we still know right from wrong.

I don't know enough about your husband to say anything against him. I don't know you well enough to say anything for or against you. I simply hope that you are able to figure out how to continue your relationship with less stress on the both of you. Best of luck.

I can't imagine the difficulties it takes to live with a bipolar person..and I'm bipolar !

You might try the DS Group

Family and Friends Of Bipolar People , it's the group where family and friends can discuss their problems with living with a bipolar person.

Good luck

To summarize, Ann Landers said that the question to answer is "Am I better off with him or without him"? I can appreciate your using xanax but my own personal prejudice is that nobody needs prozac!

He could just be an asshole.....

Here is the Family group
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Family-and-Friends-of-Bipolar/forum

Wait, didn't we do this already??????????

WE DID!

In case you missed it : )

Sorry your going though such a rough time! It could be Bipolar, or Alcohol, or he's just an asshole. You have to take care of YOU!

Run to a meeting for Family members - here is one on DS

Family and friends of Bipolar
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Fami...

NAMI.org has real life family groups available - you have to get help for you. The sick will bring the well down every time.

LOL (forgive me) He Sounds like a drunk or selfish jerk to me - but I don't know, it could be something else for sure!

Welcome. Having BiPolar does not give you an all access pass to treat everyone else in the world like shit. Yes, we do have stuggles daily, sometimes for some of us hourly...but still it's not everyone elses fault that we have a disease to manage. Having BiPolar is a way of life, it takes various different therapies and adjustments to daily living to manage it and get to a stable place. Your husband is med compliant, that's great, but it's 1 part of a multi-tier'd treatment process. Does he see a therapist or a Pdoc? Is he working on any home therapies like Journaling, any king of hobby therapy, or ways to get his aggrivations out besides on you? You sound like a classic enabler, and most nice, normal, sweet people are, because they think, "Oh, we have an illness, I have to take care of them, or I have to do this, etc." ummm..You don't. Your hubby needs to step up and get himself into some therapy and find different ways to handle his aggressions. He also sounds like he's got some major paranoid issues going on, a therapist can help him work through those and give him the coping skills to live a daily life around them and with the BP. As BiPolar patients it is our job to fit in the world of the "Normies", It is not the "normal" worlds job to bend around us, to make our lives easier...it's just not the way it works for us or any person with an illness.

Hope you toughen up and realize that you don't have to let him treat you like this, it is a form of abuse, and you sound like you deserve far better.

Kat

I actually found it dfficult and eye opening to read this. It's hard to say, but it's true. menal Illness does not give a person the right to just be a jerk all the time. I lost my husband because I acknowledged I was doing more harm than I should; because I wasn't getting proper treatment. WE weren't. Both parties need to work on the situation together, I mean - you're a couple. But, at the same time number one is always you because if your not good to yourself, how good can you be for others? Join the DS Support Group. From my experience - go to counseling, BOTH OF YOU before you do anything irrational.

Hi and Welcome sumbunny... The Friends and Family of Bipolar would probably be a good group for you as others have mentioned...

I agree with what others have written as well...Treating people badly on a regular basis doesn't sound like bipolar disorder to me.. It sounds more like a personality disorder..
People with bipolar have times when they aren't stable that anger and irritability can become a problem for sure however that only happens when a person is in an unstable state.. It's not a regular behaviour..

You deserve to be treated well and with respect... This sounds more like your husband has a crappy disposition and takes it out on everyone around him... And it's abusive!

Big hug of comfort for you and a blessing..x

As others have said, the family group.

One thing I want to add. Just because he is med comliant does not mean that he is on the right meds. If the meds don't work for him, it does not matter how comliant you are.

Being Bi-Polar just sucks, but I agree with everyone you have to be held accountable for your actions. I am so up and down and yes It would be great if everything would go my way, but that is not realistic. Come on and making faces and saying nasty comments. That sounds immature to me just saying. I don't know either of you. It sounds like he doesn't have very good copeing skills. Hope things get better and you find the information and support you need.

Suncloud said it perfectly. It's like my entire life I thought my dad was mean and cruel because he was an alcoholic. Come to find out now that I've had to move back in with the folks (he's been sober nearly 30 years) that he is just a prick. It wasn't the booze.

Never accept being treated badly whether physically or verbally and never make excuses for the person. BIG HUGS to you.

Hi. You wrote a lot---pouring out your heart---and I do get that! You have been holding a lot inside and trying to hold a lot together.

Living with a bipolar person is hard. I am bipolar!! Its a rollercoaster for many, even with meds...BUT he takes meds!

****this is what I think is going on---take it with a grain of salt (lithium salt ok)***

I think what you said early on sums its up---"seems to always want to right and have everything his way"

I would really encourage you to stop being so nice and giving to him and to assert what you want.

As a woman, it is hard enough for us anyway to find our own voice. Getting your own therapist can honestly help your. Therapy is not just for the "mentally ill".

Your difficult path with this difficult man who always manages to get his way....is to speak up to him....stop getting bullied and somehow, find out what it is that you want to say (and do) in the first place.

What do **YOU** sumbunny want?

If you just want him to be nice to you...and to stop being so damn pissy, I think that is perfectly fine. A good start. You should have his respect...in fact, learn to demand it.

is it a "bipolar or did he just learn to treat people wrong?" is a hard question----just throw that question out! It really does not help to even wonder!

What you want is an end behavior to you, in this present moment to be acceptable to you.

When we have mental illness---or brain sickness---whatever it is---it plows a history behind us. Children in particular are affected.

BTW, His sister had her own childhood---and in any family, each siblings childhood is uniquely theirs. Just because her childhood was great, it doesn't mean that his was not hard for him.

You can't stop people from "hating" him. You do not have that power. Your husband might be able to---but he is not able or does not want to bad enough.

Just stop taking on his past & his relationships for him. Stop trying to be a peacemaker for him and others. Honestly, it's not healthy for either of you.

I hope you find some help in my advice & support...no offense was intended at all. Peace and best wishes to you.

ps: Why would you have to choose between your family and him? Did I miss something?