doorknob I hear ya! Just what are your cockamamie plans???

Well my plan is to make an ART book/ graphic novel. Right now I have a very very rough draft of what it will be. But I need tools that are expensive and more training. Still because I am insane I'm going to try to use what I have and train myself using the internet!

Still its a lot of work I mean A LOT! I've already started some of the design work and I have so much designing to do. The story is great though I already have two fans my sister and my daughter. They can't get enough and can't wait for me to make more. But right now the copy I have is hardly professional level. So I have a lot of work cut out for me.

I was going to go back to school until I found out I have no funds. I can't get any help to pay for it so I can't go. That means I'm winging it on my own.

On a bright note at least I can work at my own pace.

Things will settle down for you after the move is over and you are settled.

In an attempt to show you the grass is not always greener on the other side:

Angelina Jolie has the breast cancer gene. She has had a double mastectomy and is going to have a hysterectomy. Still, she gets to live with the fear of cancer because all of that does not guarantee anything.

You don't want her body and brain or anyone else's. You want to love Doorknob's body and brain because you are special.

Take a break and hopefully you will be refreshed.

Hugs.

Im so sorry you are at this place. I have to say though your post is me pre lithium and further down me now. It took me almost 20yrs to go back on lithium and find out my answer was there all along. Yours is out there it just wont or cant happen until its time. Cure? I think most of us crave that even in stability. After all its never total stability and fear of relapse is always there. If you aren't grasping for those straws you will not find or hope to find something to help.

you are so perfect the way you are. Don't wish to be anyone but you. because that's what gives others the joy and love they have for you.

Im not good with authors names but didn't rawlings start out writing just a story and end up with a series of hit books?

at this point in my life I am not quite well enough to be productive and not sick enough to be excused by my standards. I love how you put this you truly have a gift for wording :)

I don't have words of wisdom other then just breath.

Thanks


And good point bellebelle I guess I need to be a little grateful to be me. It's true there are those that have it worse.

I was just kidding about the body transplant and brain transplant. I'm pretty sure that would just make another person and no longer qualify as being me.

I"d still like to be me, just a healthy me.

There is a less radical procedure, dk. My folks used it all the time when we were, apparently, expressing abnormal behavior or did something totally off the charts.

Both parents used it often enough that I now use it myself from time to time. Well they did have six kids so it was heard more often than "supper's ready" around our house.

The command was "give your head a shake"...if that didn't work it was time to "go soak your head".

You don't want to be anyone else, dk, that would be like scrambling your brains...I mean where would you find your project in in the mind of someone else? ~bu~