It could just be an inbetween state.

I have a theory that our minds occasionally go into overload. That between all the cycling of moods we reach a state where our mind just goes blank.

There are people that spend their whole lives trying to attain a state of utter blankness and call it enlightenment.

I have had that feeling. I call it my grey period or being in neutral.
I use it as a time of self reflection. I used to wonder if it was what "normal" felt like.

I suggest to just accept it for what it is.

I get this way too but it will come to pass. I do not like the feeling but it does happen. I am also with you on the finding a pdoc that accepts medicaid. I have that problem myself. Good luck

I accept whatever mood I'm in. I have no control over it. My meds are either not working, or doing exactly what they're supposed to. Not sure.

Seems like you aren't "allowed" to attain happiness with this illness since "happiness" is so mistaken for hypomania or mania.

maybe not being happy and not being sad is what other people describe as normal.

my therapist said we may not know what it feels like to be normal so the mood you're feeling could be "normal"

that would be nice to be normal huh? But then again we wouldnt be us.... delima

I have often asked this question of myself......Am I capable of truly being happy? I have days where I am happy, but not for long periods of time. I have never felt happy like that. My hypomania, unfortunately, is usually the irritable kind, so I can't even have that to look forward to!

Is happiness a fairy tale? Does it even exist?

I'm with you KimChick. Any happiness with BP is to be cautioned. When you feel good people tell you to be careful, and usually with good reason, and then there's the crash.

BUT, if what I'm feeling is what it feels like to be "normal", then I don't want to be normal.

I've felt that way a million times before. Of course it'll pass but I know it really sucks...It's like you're depressed but...you're not. I do think you probably need a med adjustment but eventually you'll get it :/ I hope its in time for you to always be on meds. I was off for a week and a half a while back and it got real bad for me...

I have accepted that I will never be 100% happy. But I take the happy times and run with them. Its better to be able to experience it at one point then not to experience happiness at all.

I get the same way exxceept I have learned to stay away from pp bec I say the wrong things. It is like I am off kilter. Coudl you reg doctor suuggest some medicare pddocs?

my pdoc isnt medicar either so I only see him 6 times a year and pay out of pocket and just for meds.

i hate that in between space. the indifference to what's going on around me is more than I can stand. I hope you get better soon.

See my avatar? In the midst of the biggest manic episode EVER! (for me anyway). I wish I could smile like that again. Like I truly was loving life again.

bp can sure make you feel like you're not loving or living life