Most of the time I can control my anger with my partner pretty well every know and again I get so angry I want to see him choke on bird sht

Rachyl you just cracked me up when I read your post, I'm so sorry but the choking on bird shit hit me so funny!!!!

I used to have that problem until my kids got taken away (not for that specifically, but that and other MH related reasons). I took anger management class (with a strong recommendation).,..which I knew would be, and found to be, primarily useless. In fact it just made me more frustrated and angry because none of their suggestions worked. (of course, then I wasn't "making the right choices")

However, I did come away with one thing in particular that has helped me. And that is, becoming more aware of when I'm starting to get angry instead of figuring it out when I'm banging my head against a wall. You can start with thinking back to the last time or two you got really mad, and see if you can remember how it felt before you blew up. Do you tense up, clench your teeth, do you hear it starting in your voice?

If you're not used to it, can be a daunting task to make yourself think about it when you're getting angry. But if you work at it, and realize what's happening before you blow, you can start doing things to head that explosion off at the pass.

I think you should look for the cause of it. It sounds more like a symptom of a problem, rather than a problem itself. (Although I'm sure it causes problems.)

It would be one thing if you had always been like this, but the sudden onset of this points to it coming from something else.

The first thing I'd look at if I were you is meds, if you take them. Even if it's a med that you've been on for a long time with no problems. Check all the side effects and see if extreme anger is a possibility.

Have yourself checked out by your primary care doctor to make sure you're okay. It could be a hormonal problem.

If you don't find any external cause for your change in behavior, maybe this is just an ugly turn that your Bipolar Disorder has taken and perhaps a med change is in order.

I really think that this is something more than 'just' anger and until you figure out what's causing it, it may be impossible to truly get a handle on it!!!

Good luck!!! I hope this gets resolved to your satisfaction!!! (((((Hugs)))))

Thanks for all the advice I will take it all in and come up with a plan to break this awful cycle that I have fallen in to. I know I get triggered at times and it's like the past comes right up in my face and I go for the throat when that happens. I do have PTSD, I'm not in therapy but the anger management sounds like something I may benefit from, not positive but will definetly look into it!!! I don't want to continue doing this and am trying very hard to change my ways.

I found I had the same problem, too....the more I tried to control it, the worse it got. Do you have a trusted therapist?

I tend to stay very calm, like a cold fish, it takes a lot to get me going. But man once the line is crossed all bets are off, I'm a SOB and I take no prisoners. But on the flip side nor does my wife so we can really get into it. Then once we vent all that out, we are fine. I say better to get it out in the open then let itt fester.

I do not have a therapist, I stopped going about 10months or so ago....therapied out...lol

I was going to a dbt program but got tired of the petty crap that was going on there and dropped out......it wasn't helping me that much anyway. I have a temper, always have and it takes constant work most definetly.....I'm going to try my hardest not to resort to name calling when I get pissed and try just walking away until I can clear my head and think more rationally, it's all I know to do at this point.

My husband and I used to get into terrible arguments. I can't remember any name calling. But there was a lot of yelling. After we had kids and as we have grown older the arguing has stopped. We have both learned to control our tempers. I wish you the best of luck. Perhaps for the time being, walking away when you start getting angry might be the best solution.