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When I had OCD

Jenniferswe
Jenniferswe

I was remembering something from when I was 16 yrs old.  My mom was a severe alcoholic so our home life was very toxic.  Everyone suffered because of it.  At 16 I developed OCD.  I would was my hands until they were red and raw.  I was afraid to touch doorknobs and other things I thought were dirty.  There were many other symptoms.  I was afraid if I didn't keep clean people would think I was dirty and undesirable.


My parents responded to my OCD with anger.  They would yell at me and give me lectures about how my strange behavior was unacceptable.  They would make fun of me about it.  My mother even took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it in her room.  They never got me any help.


I was talking to a CPS counselor that came to my school at the time.  He wasn't much help.  He gave me bad advice such as not to let my mom's drinking affect me.  He would not put me in protective custody.


I couldn't understand why my parent's were so upset with me.  I thought parents liked having clean children.


The OCD would come and go depending on how stressed I was.  It pretty much phased itself out over the years.

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Gentle hug Jennifer..... That must have hurt a great deal..... Ignorance is surely not bliss......xo
MoobbusT
MoobbusT
I think I understand, you know, that not being understood must have been horrible. And having the family mock and ridicule you as well by the sound of it. If we make it through that, even damaged... well, you're one tough cookie I reckon. It's actually a very courageous performance.
chris138
chris138
Sorry your parents responded to your OCD with anger. I think I grew up with OCD too. I had to check and recheck door knobs to make sure they were locked after leaving the house. I would also exhibit body ticks. I would touch my shoulder with the side of my head then I would touch the other shoulder with the other side of my head. I had to do an even amounts of touches to make everything "even".

These days I don't do the body twitches and noises that I used to do. My parents thought I had a mental disorder. Well I was just OCD basically. I would make noises in class etc. It was embarassing. Back in the 1970s teachers were not informed well and they thought I was being disruptive and rude. I just could not help myself.

Now a days I just harp on things that happened to me in my past. I get upset over past things that were done to me etc. I have to let go and move forward, but sometimes I get upset at a memory or situation. Dunno. I would say I am still OCD a bit.
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