You're bipolar and having some life events taking place too....(((hugs))) I get it.....

I don't fully follow what's going on. It sounds like you have some bad boundaries with your landlady, or she has bad boundaries with you. She should know NOTHING about your illness! It is NOT her business! Her illness, if she has one, is not your business either. You don't need to "open up' to everyone. No wonder you are angry- your boundaries have been violated. NEVER have another conversation like that with your landlady. She is NOT your friend; she is a business associate, sort of.
Don't trip over opening up to people; you need to worry about WHO you open up to.

I'm sorry you are hurting. I know that the images you saw when you closed your eyes were disturbing to say the least. But a landlady doesn't have the ability to diagnose. She's just playing with your head when you are in a vulnerable place. You say that you have anxiety as well as bp. Could you possibly have PTSD ??? Just a thought, and no, I'm not qualified to diagnose either.

It also sounds like you need more people to talk to. Do you have a therapist ? You might also consider group therapy.
That way your support will be coming from appropriate people, not your whacked out wannabe psychiatrist landlady.

Thank you all. I feel like 5 times less crazy now. Lol. She got me wrapped around her little finger. HARD core. I feel like such an idiot.

I'd consider moving over that. But I understand if you can't. just don't have those kinds of conversations with her again, change the subject if you can or make an excuse that you have to go if it gets weird. It sounds like bi polar to me not anything else. be more careful in the future.

I'm sick of being sick, too!!!! All the counseling in the world will have somewhat limited help when it comes to a chemical imbalance in the brain!! It can greatly help how we deal with our lives, but it can't 'cure' our Bipolar.
Since you find talking to your landlady to be upsetting, keep it to a minimum, to the best of your ability.
I hope you're feeling much better now, or that you soon will!! (((((Hugs)))))

I agree with every single thing zsa said. This is in part about BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES and then some more BOUNDARIES. And along with that comes assertiveness.

May I suggest that you take this issue to your therapist and say, could we PLEASE make a concerted and consitent effort to work on those two things, boundaries and assertivess. Believe me, this will change you life forever, for the better and not just to do with this lady. And ask your therapist for some good books on these topics and absolutely commit yourself to this and immerse yourself in it. YOU WILL CHANGE.

Sad as she must be, she is an emotional leach and will bleed you dry. But she only has the capacity to dot this if you allow her.

You are person of power beyond measure - and all you need to do is work on those boundaries and assertiveness and you will tap into that power and see it all unfold.

But as others have said, from today, just say gently but firmly if it appears she wants to come into your apartment or she is inviting you into hers, or you meet elsewhere in the building, just make vague excuses and excuse yourself. Don't engage with her on any level except the rent, leaking taps etc. She will be hurt and confused initially because there has been a precedent built up between you - but that is her problem to address - you have enough of your own.

This may sound idiotic at this point, but this could be the best thing that's ever happened to you (and I'm an 11 years sober alcoholic who had to hit rock bottom to surrender and do what is necessary and also a Bipolar patient as well as several other illnesses, all of which I needed rock bottom to really address).

Gird your loins and go for it!!!

Don't feel like an idiot, Shlay. You just sound alone and like you need people to talk to. And you just opened up to the wrong person, and she must have some weird issues if she wants to poke into your business. Like Wendy said, if she tries to get into it with you again, just find some reason to excuse yourself.

I can't tell my pdoc or my therapist how I feel on some things because I can't explain them. That is the hardest thing for me to do.

Zsa is exactly right. It is not the landlady's business. If this person is toxic, you have to stand up to her and not let her overtake you.

Sometimes, I have to let others say things for me because I have problems with standing up for myself. If you have a husband or relative-get support from them if she does this again.

Harrassment and shaming are b.s. ways that toxic people can try and mess we bipolars up. Sometimes, folks do things that irritate us and not to irritate us-either way--

We dont' need to let people in who are going to mess us up.

Hugs of you,
EKC

Hugs to you,

Ekatepnha

Thank you all for you support. I tired to talk to my mom about this and she said the same thing you people are saying. But she also told me she doesn't think I'm even bi-polar. Both my parents are social workers/ therapists. Neither of them think I have a real problem other than depression and anxiety. Sometimes they tell me it's all in my head. I'm freaking sick of people telling me who I am, what I feel or what I have.

Yes-and I just had a small incident here at work with someone who messes with my head. The coworker might just be unintentional.....anyway.....

Yay Shlay!! Have a good holiday. :-)