I make a conscious decision daily not to run away from myself. It's learning to love the self.

I believe that everyone is hiding something. 1,001 things. People where masks. We have fears of intimacy with others but even more fear of it with ourselves.

I think running can be good if we are running from our pain and find our true calling, passion, or whatever else makes us happy. Having the courage to change your life even if it this doesn't measure up to with the expectations from others or their definition of success.

Yes Suninbloom, I agree most of us are hiding something or the other, but I like to think it is possible to get past this when we no longer fear judgement of others because we are content with who we are.

Sorry if this is redundant as I just posted this song on the Thursday Tune topic. Here is my theme song for the month and if it takes running to get me to this state of mind than please sign me up for a marathon.

La Cage aux Folle...
"I I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."
I am what I am,
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum,
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.
And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,
Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud
I am what I am!
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit;
One life, so it's time to open up your closet.
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,
"Hey world, I am what I am!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4VMudwlVEU

Amen and I say don't be afraid to be the water. Some may seem like the rock but water always perserveres and overtakes the rock. Bend and flow with the moment and don't be afraid to cry, to laugh, to love, to live!

I was running away in the most severe way for years. As well as being a Beeper and having several other mental illnesses, I am a nearly 12 years sober member of AA. Prior to that I was a blackout drinker for 18 years, from 14 to 32. And in terms of the Fight or Flight concept, addiction is a Flight response as we ar fleeing into oblivion to deal with life, pain, issues, responsibilities and the sometimes discomfort of maturing etc.

I was also a workaholic, had done three post Secondary qualifications all while working in high pressure jobs that were also high status and high income, and all the while I was blackout drinking and had at that time, undiagnosed mental illness. And of course for so many years I used my career to define myself and give myself validation. But mental illness and gross mis-prescription put paid to that 4 years ago and I haven't worked since and may never work again, so I now seek to get validation from within myself, as that is a much firmer footing than looking for external validation which is always on slippery ground and always changes.

I fled into a relationship in my 20's with a great guy, but I was the most neurotic, clingy thing you could ever see. In the end after four years he dropped me because of my crazy behaviour, my drinking (although he gave it a nudge too) and my wildy fluctuating weight - the last of which I still struggle with and it's made worse by psych meds. Overeating is also a Flight response.

With so many years sober and the work you have to do to achieve that in AA, years working with psychiatrists (100% meds compliant) and with therapists on the deepest level I HAVE progressed.

But I agree with you guys in saying that no matter how hard or how long I work on myself there will always be layers and layers of half truths and denial in me. I can accept that, I am at peace with that. As long as I am on an authentic journey, that's the best I can do.

It is funny you put this post up, Sharon. I often make a similar comment to such as "Where are you in a hurry to, your grave!?

Hugs all around!

I hate the shit out of myself.

I dont really run from myself. Not anymore, anyway. Ive learned - the hard way - that I seriously cannot afford to do that even a little bit.

If i could run away from myself, I definitely would. And I'd run far, far away.

I don't feel like I am running away from anything but I certainly distract myself from many things. I do this everyday.

My grandma used to try and run away from herself, but her walking frame kept tripping her up.