You've got me beat, sad to say. I'm thankful that when I started lithium it brought me to fairly normal behavior. That's a nice place to be.

I am not sure is this is what you mean but the voices in my head told me to run and get out of the house. I was at my sister-laws house. They told me satan was after me. This was in the middle of the night, I had my pj's on

Oh I forgot too say I was reading the bible down the street.

voices and visions

specifics???

nahhh, in so many ways, that was someone else.

i actually walked out in the middle of oncoming traffic at night on a very busy street, carrying my knives, daring anyone to stop me

I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I did all drugs and all sorts of drinking. My last DUI I had a BAC of .51, it was chemically enhanced with speed. That is why I remember it and the four times the police tested me. They thought their machines were busted then finally gave up.

I did all sorts of things in my addiction with incomprehensible demoralization. Now I lock myself up in my room so I don't get arrested.

You are not alone.

ur not strange,at least to me as i can relate to u..i seem normal most the time but i too have done the thing also where i felt the need to walk around outside naked flauntin my bad self without a care in the world quite a few times..i once laughingly hung off the side of my balcony daring the railing to break..i dont just pretend to cut myself i really have done it,also have tried to break my bones n have punched myself in the face many times causing fat lips n bruised eyes n jaw n cheeks just cuz i felt like it..i have stolen things from stores b4..i get up in the middle of the nite cuz i feel urges to clean my bathroom or arrange my books n dvds in alphabetical order n then arrange my closet so the clothes look like a rainbow..mania makes me super productive with out id never get anything done but it also sometimes brings out the worst in me..im either super happy n talkative or cold n nasty n then do stupid careless shit on top of it

Recently I've done some crazy things in my mania state. I keep seeing them in my head and get so much anxiety. It makes me feel so weird Because I don't anyone who does such crazy shit. I want to stop thinking about it & get past it!! I want it to stop consuming my mind.

I threw myself at this guy who kinda has a crush on me. I let him grope my boobs,and eat me out for just TWO pack of cigarettes. This happened last week. I'm cycling.
When I was manic last year, I answered an ad on craiglist, and had sex.
This didn't seem unusual to me because my gay cousin did it all the time for hook ups.
I reasoned that at least I didn't go to the club to do it.
I could have been killed!

Your not weird I have some of those same thought/urges/feelings...I thought I was the only one who wanted to run though public naked..so nice to know others do to....my biggest desire is to run on and off the Birkie trail during the Birkie (it is huge ski race that we have where I live people come from all over the world) and one day I may do this. So don't feel different I am learning that there are lots of us out there and we all have different degrees of strange thoughts, its just finding the one that has them like you, if you ever wanted to compare notes I would be more than happy to....

When I'm manic/hypomanic im hypersexual and have made some seriously dangerous choices. Its a miracle that I'm not chopped up in a dumpster somewhere.

I get very hypersexual too made many bad desisions when i wasnt on meds. I went to a adult bookstore once and there was a backroom wnere guys hooked up in i gave 16 guys head over several hours of staying there.i was very ashamed for a long time now ive just learned to take my meds.

I get manic and very pushy and aggressive to the point of no return,I've even been arrested for 18 counts of attempted manslaughter. I've jumped into a field full of bulls and ran from them. I have intentionally gotten into accidents on a dare. Was a pimp,thief,stealer of souls and killer of hope.When depressed I have cut myself so bad I almost killed myself ,taken overdoses and attempted suicide in many ways. I am now very stable and it feels good to be alive.I don't live in the past and realize it's my disease that led me down those roads and I don't have to live that way anymore.

We all have our regrets. Hopefully none too many to munch on. My biggest and truly only regret worth mentioning is not having had a family. A decision I made before I was even capable of procreating.

It's ok to look back, but don't stare. You might get run over by tomorrow.

I haven't done anything like that but in my drug addiction I did some pretty insane things.