Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I hit that rock bottom.
I admitted myself (for the first time) into a nhs psych hosp....and within the day discharged myself, I paniced, it was new...
I stayed at my grandparents who live down the road from hubby and daughter and then asked the crisis team to readmit me. This never happened.
I ended up taking an od (which wasn't a suicide attempt, I couldn't find blades) and in an amu for 3 days in a bad way. But what I do remember is 1. My grandparents being REALLY REALLY angry at me (calling me names and actually being nasty) when I told them I'd done it (they've never been nasty like that ever) and 2. The nurses physically hurting me. Like, pressing down hard on my collar bone and squeezing behind the left side of my collar bone and shoulder blade area. Now I don't have bruises but it's still very sore there. I have a bruise on my hip. Like, is hurting patients a way if trying to keep them awake or something? Or was this something else... I went in Monday came out Wednesday and it's pretty fresh in my mind still and all rather confusing....
I admitted myself (for the first time) into a nhs psych hosp....and within the day discharged myself, I paniced, it was new...
I stayed at my grandparents who live down the road from hubby and daughter and then asked the crisis team to readmit me. This never happened.
I ended up taking an od (which wasn't a suicide attempt, I couldn't find blades) and in an amu for 3 days in a bad way. But what I do remember is 1. My grandparents being REALLY REALLY angry at me (calling me names and actually being nasty) when I told them I'd done it (they've never been nasty like that ever) and 2. The nurses physically hurting me. Like, pressing down hard on my collar bone and squeezing behind the left side of my collar bone and shoulder blade area. Now I don't have bruises but it's still very sore there. I have a bruise on my hip. Like, is hurting patients a way if trying to keep them awake or something? Or was this something else... I went in Monday came out Wednesday and it's pretty fresh in my mind still and all rather confusing....
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Some things we don't talk about, we breathe them... Some things cannot be explained, but rather experienced. Some of the most healing moments arise when given the memory, acknowledging the love.One cannot go back in time; we move forward, and we carry the love we shared. No one but ourselves has the power to do so, or the permission to do so, but ourselves.So live life with your faith and...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
BUT...I have experienced people being extremely angry at me, including pdocs, over my suicide attempts. It's almost like they take it personal. It's my life, it's my choice. That's how I look at it.
However, I think suicide threatens people and what they believe in.
It's like a big slap in society's face. I don't agree w/it but that's how it seems to me.
Just take care of YOU...whatever you have to do. Don't worry about people's reactions. They're not suffering like you are.
Regarding people getting mad... Anger is a secondary emotion.. I think they are frustrated and fear for us and themselves.... I have certainly felt suicidal many times however I've taken it off of the table as an option mostly due to the effect it has on those that I've cared about... I try to put myself in their shoes ... We want people to empathize with us so I think it's important that we also empathize with them
If I feel suicidal or am in a depression that I can't get out of I know it's time that I seek medical help and medical help with be there for you Dannie if you want it
Re squeezing your shoulders/collar bone... It sounds like they're squeezing your pressure points.. Military does that to hurt someone and keep them down... If that's what they did this hospital needs to be reported.. This is terrible... Big hug for you...x
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pressure_point
I wondered if the nurses were using pain as a way to keep me awake...which didn't work by the way... But I have fibromyalgia so I remember it being extremely painful
We try and keep this sub board for those in imminent danger of harming themselves or others