Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hi All,
It's been a long time. Sorry for the long post - but feel like I need to paint the picture a bit - before I launch into the HELP section of the story.
My Docs kept me in a state of FUNCTIONING Hypomania for about 2 years - we had no choice...everything around me was falling apart - and I was the one holding it all together. 5 loses in 3 months a year ago.4 deaths and the lose of my amazing job. BUT now my body has simply had enough and it is finally time to bring me back down to earth before I crack. Rapid heart rate, hand tremors, uncontrolled crying, horse voice likely from pressured speaking, frequent ocular migraines and so on. It is NOT my thyroid...but you would think so. I am highly allergic to pretty much the world we live in (indoor and outdoor) - so this coupled with an intense East Coast allergy season has brought my anxiety to the forefront and my functioning...about to fall apart completely. I can't have that - given that one of the 5 loses mentioned was my high-profile job. The company is going through massive lay-offs (for 3 years - I lost mine last May). I have been successful working independently (which has taken an intense dig-deep strength and brave face) - But I am about to have some key meetings for my "big picture" plan - and I don't want to come off hyper or emotional. Until a few weeks ago...I was just more inspiring to be around. Ya know...the sparkle of the creative and fun hypo-manic lady. NEVER manic. Ummm, now, I just feel more like a nut bag! And it sucks that I am alone.
So, down to earth we go (I hope). Due to the allergies - my PDoc has decided we swap out my night-time Benedryl (which is a part of my sleep cocktail - I was NEVER a good sleeper - kind of afraid of sleep since I was a kid) and add in a VERY low dose of Seroquel. He's best known for his out-side-of-the-box (full mind-body) solutions for those that the traditional approach has failed. I have had quite a journey from hell to find the right combo of meds. I went through serotin-syndrome, sever Cymbalta withdrawal that landed me the hospital and so on.
I was grateful when he entered the picture. I was misdiagnosed for 18 years as being anxious and depressed - put on SSRI's that would always put me through the roof with anxiety. (INTENSE anxiety was MY version of hypomania or mania) When in fact - I am Bipolar 2. After a Thyroid issue - my life fell apart. No words. It took up to 8 years to fix my imbalance! SO, back to the point my friends - this is the first time in 5 years that we are adding something. Eek. Terrifies me! (May I add - I have lost 130lbs in these 5 years - no sugar - low glycemic index). I am a NEW person. Again - can't believe we need to visit this picture - but the amount of stress I was under was heartbreaking. Lifetime would not even want the story.
So - for the the past 2 nights - I have taken 6.25mg of Seroquel (NO BENEDRYL). Yes, you saw that right...6.25mgs (I break a 25mg tab into a quarter). I am THAT sensitive to meds (as noted above). I also take - Trileptal (150 am, 150 dinner, 450 bedtime - this stuff saved my life!), Lamictal (75) - can't get off that one - just stuck on it! Also at bedtime, Klonopin and Restoril. Not to mention the Thyroid meds, beta-blocker, Zyrtec, prilosec. Oy.
Does ANYONE on here take such a low dose of Seroquel? Studies have shown it to be an effective histamine blocker at a low dosage. And while I have felt a touch calmer the past 2 days (no hand tremor the past 2 hours...huh, go figure) - I have also not been able to wake-up in the morning! 12 hours of sleep! I have had very vivid dreams (sexual ones as well - and at least the reminded me I was ALIVE and should consider dating - it was not my goal). Light-headed (VERY - while SITTING!). Ocular Migraine this morning. I had to cancel a job today (I get paid hourly - this is NOT ok!). HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO ADJUST? I am now afraid to do ANYTHING. But I can't give up on this. I can't be hypo-manic anymore. My body can't do this. And it just feels like a huge damn secret that I am bipolar 2 and I wish I could just tell people. They all know I am going through hell with my allergies and migraines. They all see me as so strong. I am a survivor in so many ways - but this is a secret and I can't stand it. Feeling pretty darn defeated right now. Hope this just passes.
I am missing out on life. Literally. Avoiding friends. Not dating (ever). Never travel. Not going to my High-School Reunion. Why did I survive the past 2 years, drop 130lbs, survive cancer? OK...I can do this. With your help.
Thoughts?
Thanks,
NYC
(Excuse typos - you know how meds mess us up!)
It's been a long time. Sorry for the long post - but feel like I need to paint the picture a bit - before I launch into the HELP section of the story.
My Docs kept me in a state of FUNCTIONING Hypomania for about 2 years - we had no choice...everything around me was falling apart - and I was the one holding it all together. 5 loses in 3 months a year ago.4 deaths and the lose of my amazing job. BUT now my body has simply had enough and it is finally time to bring me back down to earth before I crack. Rapid heart rate, hand tremors, uncontrolled crying, horse voice likely from pressured speaking, frequent ocular migraines and so on. It is NOT my thyroid...but you would think so. I am highly allergic to pretty much the world we live in (indoor and outdoor) - so this coupled with an intense East Coast allergy season has brought my anxiety to the forefront and my functioning...about to fall apart completely. I can't have that - given that one of the 5 loses mentioned was my high-profile job. The company is going through massive lay-offs (for 3 years - I lost mine last May). I have been successful working independently (which has taken an intense dig-deep strength and brave face) - But I am about to have some key meetings for my "big picture" plan - and I don't want to come off hyper or emotional. Until a few weeks ago...I was just more inspiring to be around. Ya know...the sparkle of the creative and fun hypo-manic lady. NEVER manic. Ummm, now, I just feel more like a nut bag! And it sucks that I am alone.
So, down to earth we go (I hope). Due to the allergies - my PDoc has decided we swap out my night-time Benedryl (which is a part of my sleep cocktail - I was NEVER a good sleeper - kind of afraid of sleep since I was a kid) and add in a VERY low dose of Seroquel. He's best known for his out-side-of-the-box (full mind-body) solutions for those that the traditional approach has failed. I have had quite a journey from hell to find the right combo of meds. I went through serotin-syndrome, sever Cymbalta withdrawal that landed me the hospital and so on.
I was grateful when he entered the picture. I was misdiagnosed for 18 years as being anxious and depressed - put on SSRI's that would always put me through the roof with anxiety. (INTENSE anxiety was MY version of hypomania or mania) When in fact - I am Bipolar 2. After a Thyroid issue - my life fell apart. No words. It took up to 8 years to fix my imbalance! SO, back to the point my friends - this is the first time in 5 years that we are adding something. Eek. Terrifies me! (May I add - I have lost 130lbs in these 5 years - no sugar - low glycemic index). I am a NEW person. Again - can't believe we need to visit this picture - but the amount of stress I was under was heartbreaking. Lifetime would not even want the story.
So - for the the past 2 nights - I have taken 6.25mg of Seroquel (NO BENEDRYL). Yes, you saw that right...6.25mgs (I break a 25mg tab into a quarter). I am THAT sensitive to meds (as noted above). I also take - Trileptal (150 am, 150 dinner, 450 bedtime - this stuff saved my life!), Lamictal (75) - can't get off that one - just stuck on it! Also at bedtime, Klonopin and Restoril. Not to mention the Thyroid meds, beta-blocker, Zyrtec, prilosec. Oy.
Does ANYONE on here take such a low dose of Seroquel? Studies have shown it to be an effective histamine blocker at a low dosage. And while I have felt a touch calmer the past 2 days (no hand tremor the past 2 hours...huh, go figure) - I have also not been able to wake-up in the morning! 12 hours of sleep! I have had very vivid dreams (sexual ones as well - and at least the reminded me I was ALIVE and should consider dating - it was not my goal). Light-headed (VERY - while SITTING!). Ocular Migraine this morning. I had to cancel a job today (I get paid hourly - this is NOT ok!). HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO ADJUST? I am now afraid to do ANYTHING. But I can't give up on this. I can't be hypo-manic anymore. My body can't do this. And it just feels like a huge damn secret that I am bipolar 2 and I wish I could just tell people. They all know I am going through hell with my allergies and migraines. They all see me as so strong. I am a survivor in so many ways - but this is a secret and I can't stand it. Feeling pretty darn defeated right now. Hope this just passes.
I am missing out on life. Literally. Avoiding friends. Not dating (ever). Never travel. Not going to my High-School Reunion. Why did I survive the past 2 years, drop 130lbs, survive cancer? OK...I can do this. With your help.
Thoughts?
Thanks,
NYC
(Excuse typos - you know how meds mess us up!)
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Some things we don't talk about, we breathe them... Some things cannot be explained, but rather experienced. Some of the most healing moments arise when given the memory, acknowledging the love.One cannot go back in time; we move forward, and we carry the love we shared. No one but ourselves has the power to do so, or the permission to do so, but ourselves.So live life with your faith and...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
It's been years so I can't remember how long it took me to get 'used' to it but i did and although I can be a little sleepy when I get up now I don't have the heavy headed feeling anymore...
A side effect of Seropuel can be vivid dreams/nightmares..
You are on 2 benzo's along with it so I'm not surprised the combo is pretty strong...Seroquel has helped me a lot with sleep
I hope it will help you to... Big hug for ya...x
Zyprexa took me from Mania to normal and kept me there but the weight gain is unbelievable. Seroquel has a checkered history, for some people it works great, but it can be a nightmare.