Everybody has options. You have the option to see your doc. It sounds like you're going into full mania so be careful and try to head it off. Your hubby is letting you know that things are getting to him. I wish you well

I can relate as I was in your same position not that long ago. Then I decided I had to be med compliant. I feel for you. Hang in there and try to keep it together til your meds kick in. If you've been on them a while, maybe your pdoc will change them. Good luck to you.

My advice would be to seek help ASAP. Whether it be from your pdoc or even the ER. Anytime we might become a danger to ourselves "or others" its best to get the help we need immediately. It sounds as though you may need a med tweak. Please get some help. Sounds like it is getting to be a strain on hubby as well.

I hate what im doing to hubby, im just so lad that i have some control over my urges right now, i would never cheat on my hubby i love him too much and he dont deserve that.

I had a good long sleep last night tho right now my energy levels are through the roof yet i cant seem to move from this chair, its like my body is refusing to move.

I cant grab a hold of my thoughts properly, everything is a mess, i want to smash everything in sight to let this pent up anger and rage go.

I cant contact my cpn because i have no credit on my mobile, im due to see a locum pdoc end of this month, i just have to hang in there some way or another.

maybe he just wanted to get you to think.....or wanted you to fight harder to be calm. Who knows? I find meditation helpful at times, and there are many links to it on the web. Search it, and see what you think.

I would suggest that you get in touch with your pdoc asap. Sounds like you need a med adjustment as some of the others have suggested.

Get properly medicated as it seems you need a med tweak ASAP and definitely need to be in contact with your pdoc about this- this isn't right and I don't care if it is hypomania or whatever seriously it doesn't give us the right to be abusive.

If you can't get in contact with your pdoc then go to the hospital - seriously.. if you are a danger to yourself or others this is when you NEED to go.

chanel your right it doesnt, im not usualy a violent person, and these thoughts came through anger and rage, things seem to be different today, alot calmer, whether this is the calm before the storm or the storm has already passed, the latter im hoping im liking this calmness and so is hubby, feeling more relaxed, still got some energy so have been cleaning and am gonna do some more.

FlutterbyAngel, I'm so sorry you're going through this! Manic rage is horrible, torturous, scary, overwhelming, and very damaging to relationships. My husband and I are still working through the damage I did during my last mixed rage episode. And I even locked myself in a room for much of that time to try and protect him. I found that tactile stimulation really helped me a lot. Sometimes I'd lay on the cold floor for hours. I don't know it was calming somehow. I also found that having an outlet for the rage and energy really helps, run, jog, do jumping jacks, anything that you can try and focus yourself and all your energy on instead of lashing out. I also found that having a punching bad really helps. If you really feel that you are a danger to yourself or someone else you need to go the hospital. .