Wow, sweetz thats a tough one. I wish a had a response for you, all i can suggest is keep talking, as i find communication the key.
Im so sorry you are goin through this, specially now.
Comforting hugs
dee

Tell him I would prefer not to hear about his problems with your mother and vise versa. Let it be up to the both of them to work it out and not get involved to where you have to take sides. That is what I do with my mother and husand, I might here that they had words and one hung up on the other but no more, no reason why I don't care. Tell them both not to drag you in the middle becuase you dont want to take sides and hurt either one of your relationships with you. It is a hard one for you, butt good luck!!!!

Sorry you're going through a rough time sweetie..Yelling and screaming never accomplishes anything...it sounds like there's a power struggle going on between your boyfriend and your mom..
His behavior is hurtful.. could it be frustration??..
In my mind he's the father... you two will be the parents of your baby.. you mom needs to step out of the middle of this relationship...you're an adult now and your mom will and should have an important roll with your family....your boyfriend will hopefully realize how important and loving Grandma will be to your baby... could you see a therapist together??...are these anger issues a big part of your relationship sweetie??... just some food for thought.. Im not trying to make you feel worse...there are things here Im sure that some help could make much better.. bless you and your family..x

MY mum hated my hub, she hardly bothered with me for the twelve years I have been with him. christmas birthdays etc. thought it was me she didnt like. when we split up. she was over all the time. now we are back together I dont see her at all.

sounds like your mum cares and your boyfriend must realise that. take your time dont rush into anyting and try and stay calm for the babies sake.

hugs

Rachel

Right now I'm right in the middle of the two of them. My mom doesn't know that he doesn't like her. My ex-husband and my mother hated each other. She banned him from her house at one point. He didn't ever want to see her and she couldn't stand him. It was horrible for me because there really isn't any way to fully stay out of it. She sees her grandkids all the time and wanted to see me all the time. I used to have to go over there by myself to visit. It just wasn't a family after that. I don't want that to happen in this relationship and I can see it coming. If he tells her off she won't want to have anything to do with him (understandably) and it will put me in the middle trying to juggle them avoiding each other but still seeing me and my children. I just don't know how to avoid it.

I've tried to talk to my mom in the past about how she is. She really truly doesn't get it. She has an obsessive need for perfection and it motivates everything she says and does. It's just her personality. I understand that because I grew up with her and I love her even with her faults just like she does with me. She is one of my support people, one of my only real life ones. I can't and won't isolate myself from her just to keep my boyfriend from being annoyed with her. I've asked him not to start arguments with her and tried to explain her perfectionist complex but it seems like he doesn't understand and he's sick of it and can't deal with it anymore.

You will make the right decision honey. I am sure, just remember I am always here to talk if you need me
hugs

Rachel

I take it the byfriend doesnt want your mother in the delivery room. Well I agree, it isnt her llace to be in the delivery room it is time for him and you only. She can be the third person to hold the baby, maybe a half an later after you and you boyfriend have had some time together with the baby.

But if thats not it. you might have some couseling with all three of you bec this will jsu go onand on.

It's not about her being in the delivery room, I don't think he would care either way. It's about her in general. I guess she just gets under his skin. I think part of the problem is that my boyfriend is bipolar and unmedicated. (He went to a pdoc and they gave him antidepressants which made him manic. He got upset when it didn't work and won't go back for different meds. The whole thing is a long story but that's the basics.) I think the stress from my pregnancy is setting off an episode for him, he's been very unstable lately. I'm also off my meds because I'm pregnant which makes this all very hard for me to handle.

Sweetie, all I can say is "Boundaries". Your unmedicated b/f and perfectionistic mother are going to be like oil and water or more like fire and gasoline......

My mother has had a rule with all of us to NOT interfere with our relationships or marriages. If we needed to talk, she listened and if we "asked" for advice, she gave it. Maybe a convo with her about setting those boundaries would help? Also, if your b/f is "choosing" to go unmedicated, he is choosing to bring you and your soon to be born child into his suffering and carnage. Boundaries have to be set there too. Either he takes care of his illness or he will not be stable enough to be in a relationship with you and raise a child.

If you have a close relationship with your family then NOTHING should interfere with that. When all is said and done, they are the ones who will always be there for you. If you dont set your boundaries with him and your mother right now, things will only get worse..........xo