Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
All day! I don't think I can handle this anymore! One second I have lot's of energy and then CRASH I'm weeping. How can I be successful... I went to school worked out and felt great, went to my next class and was fine... then i couldn't sit still i had to leave. How am i going to graduate if i can't keep my ass in class. I just don't know if it's worth the struggle anymore! I keep coming back to this hole of darkness after running around in circles... I feel trapped! I really don't know what to do! I can't kill myself... why not? Well I'm not sure really... maybe i know it wont help anything... Death is so permanent... I don't want to be a marter to this stupid disease... But... it hurts so much... maybe i'll just lock myself away and in three days i'll die from dehydration... Someone save me! I don't want to die but i don't want to live like this!
JennS
I'm very sorry you're feeling this way! Hugs!
deleted_user
I don't like it when people say "I know what you are going through", because only you know what your going through, exactly. However, I will say I can relate to how you feel. I am a Mixed Bipolar II and I rapid cycle. I have my good moments and good and bad moments at the same time. I have had this disorder for 37 years and I keep fighting. It is worth it !!! YOU ARE WORTH IT !!! When I start to think about negative or Suicidal tendency thoughts, I try to do what is the hardest when you feel this way, focus on just one moment, just one positive thing. My one thing this morning was watching a Hummingbird, silly hugh? I found in concentrating on that frail little creature, with it's wings going 90 miles an hour that before I knew it I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed and like a pancake someone burnt and then ran over :) I almost felt a little joy. Hang in there... you are definitely not alone, I'm hanging with you.
theloveisgone
well I'm drinking it all away right now... wonder how that will play out at work
acuriousfish
hi, how is it going?
deleted_user
love....drinking is not going to help you at all unfortunately. we beepers cant drink especially when we're on our meds. talk to someone,
deleted_user
oh sweetie..........................put the plug in the jug!!!! i'd bet you and i are on some similar medications - my god, alcohol mixes with these mood disorder drugs like a match thrown on gas. i went down that path (again) not that long ago - thank GOD i keep a journal. after abt 3 shots of vodka, i went completely and utterly black, death-fixated, night and day in maybe 20 min's. for some unknown reason, i took out my battered journal, flipped a few pages - and found , in my own handwriting, my own words (how's that for a kick in the ass?) how i CANNOT drink with these meds. that the ONLY place i will end up in is hell - either hell on earth, or elsewhere. alcohol eases things for abt 30 seconds..........it is LOCO JUICE. if you can't love yourself enough right now, let us here, and others in your life love you through this.
theloveisgone
THE JUG IS PLUGGED! but not without a night of intense vomiting....I look like a speckled toilet whore! Needless to say I feel and look like crap. I wish it was over... i wish i could sleep away this pain... WHERE ARE ALL THE GODDAMN PAIN PILLS!
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
