All day! I don't think I can handle this anymore! One second I have lot's of energy and then CRASH I'm weeping. How can I be successful... I went to school worked out and felt great, went to my next class and was fine... then i couldn't sit still i had to leave. How am i going to graduate if i can't keep my ass in class. I just don't know if it's worth the struggle anymore! I keep coming back to this hole of darkness after running around in circles... I feel trapped! I really don't know what to do! I can't kill myself... why not? Well I'm not sure really... maybe i know it wont help anything... Death is so permanent... I don't want to be a marter to this stupid disease... But... it hurts so much... maybe i'll just lock myself away and in three days i'll die from dehydration... Someone save me! I don't want to die but i don't want to live like this!
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I'm more apprehensive than anything. I know what to expect with the procedure but I have no clue how I'll respond to it. I understand how it's done but everyone responds differently to everything so where I have collected all kinds of information on ECT I have been unable to predict how my body's chemistry will react. I'll keep you posted. Oh and I feel a lot better!