Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Underachiever

Sunshinegirl0228
Sunshinegirl0228

talked to one of the social workers in group therapy today. I mentioned I applied for ssdi and the expression on her face was concerning. Like "you can't be serious". She said I have so much potential and insinuated I am capable of so much more than I credit myself for. I applied after several hospital stays and several failed jobs. My mom really pushed me to apply for disability. In fact she's done nothing but push me to get state assistance and aid. She magnifies this illness as some horrible disease that I can't cope with. She's never pushed me to push my limits or test my capabilities. She focuses on my inabilities and things I can't do. She pushes my older sister and younger siblings to do more to reach their potential but never has with me. Even in school she never cared about my grades. I brought home Ds and Fs and she said nothing but if my siblings ever brought home those grades they were grounded. What's the difference? Does she see me as incapable of succeeding ever? This contributes to my feelings of failure. Can anyone relate?

tommymott
tommymott
Let's leave out what Mom and other people say. Realize that you're doing the best you can and you could use some help.
And yes, BP is "some horrible disease" that we have to learn to tame before we can "realize our potential". SSD saved my life back in the '7os and '80s. It was much easier to be awarded benefits before Reagan and it gave me time to grow in strength and understanding and I hope it'll do the same for you. It's not helpful to be so down on yourself so understand and accept the reality of the situation as it is now. Remember that any particular emotional and physical limitation can change for the better.
beckyp
beckyp
I, too, had multiple hospitalizations and failed jobs and finally go on SSDI. It has been a lifesaver for me. I've been on it for a long time. I do work part time now in retail, but it took me years to get to the point of being able to do that. Do what you feel you need to do. I hope it works out for you.
Sunshinegirl0228
Sunshinegirl0228
Timmy that's the question I'm asking myself here. Am I really doing the best I can? Or can I do better?
mlr0853
mlr0853
Kisses, think about where you were last year at this time...think about all you have managed to work to 'get stable'. No matter what you do "Do It For You" not your Mom or sisters...they are 'different and have not had the same life challenges you have lived with'.

I'm 63, started my human service degree in 1980 and have two classes left...yes I feel like 'I'm not living up to my potential, my Mother, Uncle and brother had Master Degrees, My sister was a nurse, and my aunt had her bachelor degree...I'm the only one who has h.s. only...BUT I am smart, I am A Survivor, I am going to finish that degree because I Want To...not to prove myself. So when you are ready, you will find your knitch too, even if you only work pt, 2 hrs a day...whatever, take some adult education classes, or online classes if that Makes You Feel Better About You...Your are smarter than you think...poo bear wisdom (((Hugs))) ml
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Girl who cares what your mom says or thinks? She's not you and she's not in your brain. Your able to work, it sounds like your very capable of achieving much more than you give yourself credit for. Your young, you have time to figure out what you want to do and do it. Living on a State Assistance check is not much of a life.

To be honest getting ssdi just because your BiPolar is not going to be an easy thing, I think you'll have a hard time proving that you can't work and take care of yourself. And the thing is, why would you want to? Prove your mom wrong, think about what you want to do, what makes you happy and go for it.

Kat
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
Kisses, you're still young and the future is not already decided for you. The modern workplace is full of so many frustrations and in time I think it's possible to build up some resistance and strength to deal with those frustrations. My wish for you is that you can keep exploring options and know that there are good bosses out there and options, options options. If you need disability that's fine too, but things can turn around. They really can. ((((Hugs))))
MayB
MayB
Kisses what I have found is we all need to create a winners circle we can stand in. I bounced around in a lot of unrelated jobs before I went back to school and got a job in dentistry as a dental assistant. I probably could have done more but it was stable work and it paid the bills. Eventually I got a job with tremendous responsibility and I couldn't manage it anymore....it sent me back to the hospital.

What I found is the need for balance and many careers don't offer that...you work all the time without break. If you can do that why not? The workplace is changing dramatically Kisses find your way in...

If you could do anything you wanted what would it be?
Jeffrey007
Jeffrey007
Kisses21016 I also think applying for ssd is a great idea. After several hospitalizations, a failed marriage, and more jobs in more careers than I can say I am finally at peace with where I am. That is not to say that I do not struggle with bipolar type I or the fact that I am confronted with being unable to work right now. But at this point in time I am taking better care of my health. I went to graduate school in my past and I have always had difficulties accepting flunking out! I am very smart but being bipolar and having hearing problems affect me in many ways that I have never appreciated before. As for your mom and your abilities; don't sell yourself short! Hard work and healing in our case will usually beat out intelligence and definitely being lazy.
Good Luck
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